William Penn Life, 2017 (52. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
2017-04-01 / 4. szám
Aging Well with Cathy Graham Feeling ‘dad-sad’ IT HAPPENED ON AUG. 4, 2016, and still I can barely bring myself to type the words, let alone say them out loud: My dad passed away at 79. Nothing, it seems, could have prepared me, and nothing, it seems, will repair me. It's not getting easier, nor is it getting smaller. It is quite the opposite. The sadness is thicker and heavier and paralyzes me when I am still. His death seemed more appropriate in August. He was no longer trapped in a body that failed to serve him or attached to machines that greatly annoyed him. My dad was my one true thing. I was his shadow growing up, and we maintained that closeness until he passed. My teenage years, college years and single parent years tightened our bond, no matter the distance. In the advance stages of his illness I wanted nothing more than to take his cancer on and beat it with my bare hands. To see him small and frail made me angry and tormented. I wanted to fight him for not fighting; I wanted to save him although he didn't really want to be saved. All the firsts without him are numbing. I turned 55 without that morning phone call from him. I planned my Christmas around his memory, recreating everything from my childhood I could, down to the icicles on the tree. My favorite picture of him sits on my desk right in front of me. He is strong and young in a canoe wearing a red and black flannel shirt. I bought myself that same shirt, and I wear it like clockwork on Sundays. The void is so big and consuming. My faith gives me depth during my busy days, but little can keep me from the pain on quiet evenings. My dog has become accustomed to the tears and glow of the fireplace as I wait for a sign that my dad is near. Just one more chance to talk to him is all I want. Being optimistic and positive has always been second nature to me. I readily see the good in all things. I have weathered the cancer storm and divorce; my single parent status has been an honor. A good friend shared with me her own stories of being "dad-sad." I know I am not alone. But today, for whatever reason, my dad is on my mind and in my heart and writing about it has eased the pain. Cathy Graham is director of the Graceful Aging Wellness Center at Bethlen Communities in Ligonier, Pa. Show your WPA pride! We have a shipment of our popular Lands’ End® brand, 100% cotton, short-sleeved polo shirts featuring an embroidered William Penn Association logo. These are the same comfortable shirts worn by volunteers at various WPA events. The men’s shirt features a two-button placket, and the women’s shirt features a four-button placket. Available in charcoal heather grey only, while supplies last. Name:______________________________________________ Address:____________________________________________ City:___:_________________State:________Zip:_________ Email:_______________________________________________ Size (Circle One): Mens S M L XL 2X 3X Womens S M L XL 2X 3X Make check payable to “William Penn Association.” Mail form & check to: Shirt Offer, William Penn Association, 709 Brighton Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15233 Includes Shipping & Handling WILLIAM PENN LIFE 0 April 2017 0 17
