William Penn Life, 2015 (50. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
2015-11-01 / 11. szám
Aging Well with Cathy Graham Easing the pain of mean behavior THROUGHOUT MY NEARLY 54 YEARS OF LIFE, I have held on to several strings more tightly than I should. One of them I have held onto so firmly that it has embedded its sisal self into my skin. It burns, scrapes and bares a bitter scab. It started out to be the color of ugly but recently it has turned a likeable shade of turquoise and gained more of a smooth, silky texture. Once I began looking at it in a nonchalant way, it began loosening itself and it appeared different. As with many important things that have occurred in my life, this has been a long time coming and it never made sense before now. What I'm refering to is my lifelong fear of mean people. Call them bullies, tormenters, aggressors, monsters, whatever you like. I have been hiding and running from them like a scared kitten for as long as I can remember. That is until now. I haven't done this by becoming tough-skinned or brazen or developing a sharp edge. I have done this by understanding. Under the right circumstances, almost anyone can become mean. Often, it appears that there are many mean people in the world around us because mean behavior stands out. We tend to dwell more on an untrue criticism than a deserved compliment. The more malicious the behavior, the more strike it has. Being yelled at is hurtful. It's mean. But, what if the mean person does not understand that they are so frightening? Is it possible that mean people are just out of sync with the rest of us? Perhaps they lack social skills, or communicating skills and they turn up the volume and act a fool to be heard. Deep down, perhaps they feel unheard. The meanies may have poor self-esteem, a deep lack of happiness or tons of anxiety. Hmm. I never thought of it that way before. Meanness can be self-protection due to the person's inability to take responsibility for their own problems. Mean people may just be angry at the world or caught up in negativity. They project out what they feel inside. A controlling person may be trying hard to make the world around him more comfortable. I could go on and on, but I hope you get the point. Mean people may be damaged. I don't think what they do is excusable. I just know for sure that it's more about them and not about me. I will wish them harmony and peace. And just as sure as I am about my faith and myself, I will let it go. Cathy Graham is director of the Graceful Aging Wellness Center at Bethlen Communities in Ligonier, Pa. Show your WPA pride! We received a new shipment of our popular Lands’ End® brand, 100% cotton, short-sleeved polo shirts featuring an embroidered William Penn Association logo. These are the same comfortable shirts worn by volunteers at various WPA events. The men’s shirt features a two-button placket, and the women’s shirt features a four-button placket. Available in charcoal heather grey only, while supplies last. Name:________________________________________ Address:______________________________________ City:__________________State:_______Zip:________ Email:________________________________________ Size (Circle One): Mens S M L XL XXL Womens S M L XL XXL Make check payable to ‘‘William Penn Association” Mail form & check to: Shirt Offer, William Penn Association, 709 Brighton Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15233 William Penn Life 0 November 2015 0 5
