William Penn Life, 2015 (50. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
2015-11-01 / 11. szám
Tibor's Take with Tibor Check, Jr. Solving the ‘problem’ of exogamy WEDDINGS HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND a great deal recently. As readers know, my sister celebrated her wedding just over two months ago. My own impending nuptials are scheduled for next July. While my fiancée and I are naturally consumed with the usual preparations and discussions, my thoughts have recently been turning to an issue that has remained underneath the surface of polite conversation. And, since I attempt to share with you the observations and stories of a young man trying to grow up and start a life in a modern, diverse America-while maintaining my Hungarian heritage—I thought it would be appropriate to share my latest thoughts with you now. I am one-half Hungarian. My dad is of 100 percent Hungarian ancestry, while my mom is Slovak with other ethnic roots-those typical of Pennsylvania coal-miners and millwrights are-blended in. My intended is of Southern lineage, thus mostly English or Scottish. She has no Eastern European-let alone Hungarian—ancestry at all. As a result, our children will be 25 percent Hungarian. If my children follow in my stead (and my father's) and fail to marry a Hungarian, my grandchildren will be 12.5 percent Hungarian. If the trend continues, my great-grandchildren will be 6.75 percent Hungarian. By the time we arrive at my great-great-grandchildren, they will by 3.375 percent Hungarian. The picture, I hope, is becoming clear. By the time my great-great-grandchildren are on this earth at 3.375 percent Hungarian blood, they'll barely be Hungarian at all. At which point, I cannot help but wonder if they would sample Hungarian cooking, listen to Hungarian music, read Hungarian literature, or speak a few Hungarian words or phrases? I cannot help but feel that the answer to that is "no." And, if they are say, 75 percent Thai, shouldn't they rightly eat Thai food, listen to Thai music, and read and speak Thai? If that were the case, it would be strange if they took their Hungarian lineage more seriously than their Thai ancestry. That is the "problem" I've been having, a thought puzzle that I've turned over and over in my mind. The scenario above is what is likely to happen. With the various ethnicities on this earth, and in this multicultural day-andage, the odds of marrying a Hungarian are more or less the same as marrying a person of any other ethnicity. Even so, who is to say that my bloodlines' interest in Hungarian culture won't wane before the great-great-grandchildren? While that is uncertain, what is certain is that if my descendants are like me, like my father, and like my sister, they will marry someone who is not Hungarian. Obviously, my Hungarian culture is important to me. That's why I have found it distressing that no matter what I do in terms of propagating my bloodline and promoting my heritage, there will most likely come a time in the not so distant future when my descendants do not identify as American-Hungarian. So, what am I to do? What are any of us to do? How do we, as American-Hungarians, promote our culture and heritage among our children and grandchildren when they may not be as genetically invested in Hungarian culture as we are today? In years past, when the American- Hungarian community was in its golden age, most members of the community married other Hungarians. Or, although it may have been controversial at the time, they married someone from a country or region not so dissimilar to Hungary, such as Czechoslovakia, Poland, Slovenia or Austria. Even if a person did marry another with no Hungarian blood, they were most likely still geographically located in a place where Hungarian culture predominated, where the butchers and bakers prepared Hungarian delicacies, where their relatives would have been Hungarian. Thus, they would learn about Magyar traditions, culture, history and food through osmosis, much like how non-Hungarians living in Hungary are now likely to acquire the traits and customs of the land that they live in. But, that is no longer the case. Now, there is no Buckeye Road in Ohio, or Arpadhon in Louisiana, or Yorkville in Illustration © Can Stock Photo Inc./redcollegiya Point to Ponder.... Do you agree with me? Or, should we promote endogamy, the practice of marrying within one’s own social or ethnic group? Do you have another solution to this “problem”? What are your experiences in raising children in a multicultural household? - Tibor 6 0 November 2015 0 William Penn Life
