Verhovayak Lapja, 1943. július-december (26. évfolyam, 26-53. szám)
1943-07-08 / 27. szám
»*S* R Verhovayak Lapja July 8, 1948------------------------------------------- j The H umorous Vain “ ‘HEAD O’ TIME” I knew a feller once that lost His girl/by bein’ late; She met another feller An’ the first one got the gate! I knew a young clerk once that lost His job ’count of a snooze He took one mornin’; someone else Now fills that feller’s shoes. I knew a feller once that made A million ere his prime; He said the way he made it was By showin’ up on time! I knew a guy who got to be A railroad president; If he said, “I’ll be there at ten,” Why, ten was what he meant. It don't care what you’re doin’ now Or what may be your aim, To show up at the time that’s set Is sure to boost your game. There’s just another little trick To help you in your climb, An’ that’s to be on hand, my friend, A little “ ’Head o’ Time!” —Anon THEIR PROBLEMS The wife was learning to drive the new car. Came a long down-grade and she forgot which doodad was Which. “Harold, the car is running away! I know I’m going to run off the pavement.” “Can’t you stop it?” asked the frantic husband. “No; I’ve forgotten how.” “Well, then, see, if you can’t run into something soft and cheap.”----v---IN A DAZE Truck Driver: “Where am !£? What happened?” Foreman (to truck driver): “You had a little wreck and we just brought you to.” Truck Driver: “It’s all so hazy, bring me two more!”----v---TIMED WELL Mrs. Dimmwitt—How did the wedding come off? Mrs. Stubblefield — Fine — until the minister asked the bride if she would obey her husband. ;hink I’m crazy?” and the groom, who was in a sort of daze, answered: “I do.”-----v----GOOD IDEA “Did Brudder Avery gib de bride away?” “No, sah; he gwine let de groom fin’ her out for hisself.”-----v----THE OBJECT The Old ’Un: “Pluck, my boy, pluck; that is the one essential to success in business.” The Young ’Un: “Yes, of course, I know that. The trouble is finding someone to pluck.”-----v----BACK FIRE A young man, who had not been married very long, remarked at the dinner table the other day, “My dear, I wish you could make the bread that my mother used to make.” The bride smiled and answered in a voice that did not tremble. “Well, dear, I wish you could make the dough that father used to make.”-----v----GOOD REASON Doctor (examining a Negro, very much under the influence of liquor): “Why this man’s been drugged!” Mose: “Yas, suh, I knows it, I drugged him all de way from the saloon.’-----v----A POSER The minister was trying to teach the significance of “white” to a Sunday school class. “Why,” he said, “does a bride invariably desire to be clothed in white for her marriage.” As no one answered, he explained: “White stands for joy, and the wedding day is the most joyful occasion of a woman’s life.” A small boy queried: “Why do the men wear black?”-----v----SURE DID It was Sunday afternoon She was knitting. He was reading and dozing in a comfortable armchair. She: “John, have you thought of the canary?” He: “Yes.” She: “Have you fed him?” Mrs. Dimmwitt — What He: “No.” happened then? She: “Then what have Mrs. Stubblefield—Plenty. | you done?” The bruto replied: “Do you He: “Thought of him,” Will Not Forget It is often said that war is harder for those who remain behind than for those who go. Millions are now experiencing the sleepless nights, the ceaseless worry of remaining at home while others go to war. No small source of concern over loved ones in the service is the fear that they may not receive proper medical care. This can be dispensed with. The men in military service are receiving the best that medical science can give them. In reviewing the military medical record of the first year after Pearl Harbor, the American Medical Journal says: “During the year the only serious incident from a medical point of view was the jaundice associated with inoculation against yellow fever. The first week of February, 1943, found a typical pneumonia and meningitis most prominent of the infectious diseases but even these were scattering with a few cases here and there and only a score or slightly more of cases of either in the few camps most seriously affected . . . Since January, 1941, and up to now, excluding battle casualties, the death rate has been the lowest in the history of our Army. During World War I, 1 patient of each 3 with meningitis died; now only 1 in 20 dies. Prompt diag- , nosis, efficient care and 1 sulfonamides have mada the difference.” The American public owes a debt of gratitude to the medical men that it will never be able to fully repay. The countless thousands of men who will return after the war, thanks to the skill of doctors serving in the front lines, will not forget that debt. FOR COMPANY Clerk: “Please, sir, I’d like next week off if it’s convenient.” Employer: “Oh, you do, eh? What for?” Clerk: “Well, my girl’s going on her honeymoon, and I’d like to go with her.” This man was taught not to drink water QRINKING WATER IS SCARCE in North Africa. And what there is, is likely to be bad. So before our soldiers landed there, they were weaned away from water. A dash of iodine in their drinking water served the double purpose of disinfecting it, and making it taste awful; By the time the boys landed in Africa, they’d lost all taste for water except in safe, prepared drinks; The favorite prepared drink is lemonade. Field Ration K provides it—along with veal, SAVE WITH U.S. WAR BONDS EVERYBODY...EVERY PAYDAY. pork, sausage, coffee, bouillon, malted milk tablets, biscuits, chocolate, and chewing gum— all in a 33-ounce pack; Sounds like somebody was taking pretty good care of our boys, doesn’t it? And that's right. American soldiers are the best-fed, best-equipped, best-cared-for in the world; But keeping them that way takes money; So much money, that, to help pay for it, every one of us must loan at least 10% of his income to Uncle Sam through War Bonds; War Bonds are a swell investment; They pay you back $4 for every $3. Save at lease 10% of every paycheck with U. S. War Bonds. jf AI LEAST 10% V
