Verhovayak Lapja, 1940. január-június (23. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)
1940-01-25 / 4. szám
THE 376 HERALD J. FULOP, JR. January 25, 1940. Page IS Verhovay Overseas Club With malice toward none, we do hereby, henceforth, now and forever declare that we solemnly swear to faithfully adhere to the following resolutions. RESOLVED: (1) To strive after a big... er... uh ... nimm ... better column. (2) To eliminate as many "big words” as possible, only using them when it is evident that I am not trying to show off. (3) To write an essay "On How to Raise Mustaches” for "Shadow” as soon as possible (4) To get my article in on time so as not to arouse the irascibleness of the Supreme Auditor. (5) Not to become involved in any journalistic feud ala Vargo, Vestrocy, Young, Jozik, and if perchance X do I resolve (6) to refrain from using "The Journal” as a battle-ground. There is a limit to resolutions so the last resolution we resolve to resolute is (7) To break all these resolutions at least by February. NEW YEARS DAY RANTINGS... On that day our head felt revolutionary and I don’t mean anarchistic. Our mouth felt like we had been chewing on a car.pet since the year before. Our head and stomach felt like two barrels of fun, and tried to make us believe it because the one was dancing around and the other turned somersaults for joy. That’s the day we earnestly wished we had paid up our dues on our insurance policy and had had a sick benefit feature. That’s the day we set aside to lay ourselves aside for the purpose of dying or anything else that might alleviate our present condition. Restaurants make the least business on that day because the least food is eaten on that day than any other day of the year. People swear off alcoholic beverages for life. On that day people wish you a happy one and the 364 days that follow. That’s also the day people wish they had a new stomach instead of a New Year. The night before we had drunk enough liquidation (Pop and ginger-ale) to float any battleship in the Padagonian Navy. HITLER WANTS PEACE!!! Were you surprised to riad this: "Hitler wants peace”. So was I when I read it in a magazine, but on reading further I found something to this effect: “Hitler wants peace. A piece of Turkey, a PIECE of Hungary, a piece of Greece, etc.” If you would like to read some anti-Nazi literature and a score of cartoons panning Hitler go to any newsstand or drugstore and ask for a magazine entitled “Gag Bag”. We don’t know when we have enjoyed ourselves more thoroughly than when we spent a half hour perusing this magazine. LAST MONTH’S ISSUE: I took to heart the editorial, "Last call for a better Journal.’ I learned a lot from the column, “Do you know”. Enjoyed it very much and felt proud to be a descendant of the country it wrote about. I refuse to comment on the editorial “A Reply to Mr. Young.” Now the article “Fair Play Please” was a little more diplomatic and hence more effective than Mr. Jozik’s. "War buying etc.” by Phillips was nothing new to us. Mr. Winchell had predicted some of these things months ago. “Mystricky” ’s column educational; "Silent”’s was “in the groove” and Alex Goydan’s interesting. It is my opinion that “Shadow” has gone "Depot Dopey”, no offense, but you have more depots than you have transportation vehicles. I liked “Charlie” Young's quiz and “An Eye Opener” and also the picture on page 15. The jokes and poems were a bit of all right. All in all the Journal made quite a bit of interesting reading and seem* to have improved (Not that it needed much.) Following is the second in a series of articles concerning the life of a man who must work for a living. Last month with tongue in cheek we started something we didn’t know whether we’d be able to finish or not. With exaggeration bordering on hyperbole we depicted the sorry plight of a man journeying from his domicile to his place of employ ment and left off with his ar rival there. That is where we take up this month. II. Before I take up where I left off last month I would like to state that any similarity between associations depicted here and actual organizations is purely coincidental. I say this for the sake of retaining my position. Perhaps I have a persecution complex, at any rate I .feel like a lamb being led to slaughter as I go into the office. The entire furnishings of the office consist of several desks with people attached to them. Arriving at my desk I commence to prepare for work. While I am doing this let me enumerate a few of the thoughts that occur to me while I am doing this (preparing for work) i don’t know why I am working anyway, because my “bitter” half spends all the money I do make. If she didn’t like to go “Buybuy” so much there wouldn’t be so much “Moan’ in our Matrimony and there would be more “Money” ... Another thought that occurs to me is that I have been working ever since the doctor said: "It’s a boy” and I won’t be finished until I have entered the obituary column. Well, I’m sitting at my desk now and ready to work so now I can go on. I am not surprised at the amount of work before me, because there has always been so much I couldn’t get done. Nevertheless, I dive headlong into it, and work furiously, but just the moment that I stop for a rest the boss has to walk in. I would not mind this a bit if it happened occasionally but it happens continuously and each time the boss gives me a look that makes you think of icicles, icepicks, and isolation. It would be too obvious to go right back to work while he is staring at me so I síit there trying to act non chalant. But so great is my em barrassment that I either knock over the inkwell or scatter papers over the floor. After the boss leaves I heave a sigh of relief and go back to work. After a while atmospheric conditions have reached such a state that a knife wouldn’t be out of place, so I get up to open a window. I am in the process of elevating the window, when a voice that sounds like a parrot with bronchitis cries out: “Oh, no you don’t”. This voice belongs to a woman who is NOT a witch, but you wouldn’t believe it if you saw her. She also says something about “Pneumonia” and "The Mortality Rate”. With all the “Heated atmosphere” that exudes from between her teeth, I think she’s Fresh Air’s chief competition. Of course, the window stays down, so I wade back to my desk, loosen my collar, and take my shoes off under my desk. This is a cue for the boss to come in again. Upon noting my opened collar the boss immediately delivers an oration on neatness and the benefits derived thereof. His remarks are directed to everyone in the office, but by the art of innuendo everyone present perceives that I am the incentive for, and the victim of, his oratory. My embarrassment turns to blinding rage when I see a smile of revenge on the face of the woman who thinks you can breathe air as stale as she looks. To prevent suffocation I itinerate to the water fountain and inject H20 into my system by pouring it down my neck. After drinking several quarts I carve my way back to my desk and resume my labor. I wonder what the Romans were thinking of when they invented the phrase, “Labor vincit omnia”, Labor conquers all. Well, I pass the rest of the morning away by looking at the clock, going tp the water fountain, and working. I was fortunate one day, the boss only saw me drinking three times instead of the usual ten or twenty. Along about eleven o’clock I have already drunk enough water to take a bath in. Each time on my way back from the fountain I must pass the desk of the woman whose face must have been the inspiration for the poem, “Turn backward” turn backward, Oh time in thy flight”. By the way, Hollywood is looking for her to play the title role in the picture “The Wizard of Schnoz." Twelve o’clock finally arrives and when I’m ready to leave 1 get a message to see the boss. Well, I’m “Off to se the Buzzard” to get it over with before I get malnutrition. Of course, I pm frightened, but all he wants me for is to visit the post office f< r him. After leaving the boss’ office I hurry out to lunch. The place where I eat is a cafeteria adjacent to the building in which I work. It is easy to approach but to enter it is an ordeal which I shall not bore you with. It seems that the entire population is trying to get something to eat here. And that is what puzzles me, so many people wanting to eat the food they serve here. The food they serve here looks like it might be left-overs from the original Thanksgiving Day Feast. Well, I get in line and finally pick out what I want to eat. Of course, I have to stand to eat because all the seats are taken up. Perhaps, dear reader, you wonder why I eat here when the food is the way it is. Here is the reason: The wise ones say that love conquers all, there is the reason I would eat anything just so I could be near the cashier at the cafeteria. This is the only "Affaire D’amour” in my life. (I was un-Verhovayak Lapja This month will formally mark the organization of Verhovay Overseas Clubs throughout the realms of the Verhovay Associa tion. Pittsburgh is already organizing theirs. How about your district? In order to get the movement started in the districts which are distant from Pittsburgh I would suggest that those who are interested in starting this movement drop me a card notifying me of their intention and willingness to cooperate. In this way it will be possible officially and formally to designate through the Journal the representative or representatives who have chosen to work out the preliminary and organization meetings fdr that section in which they are located. Once we have the organization started it will be easier to formulate plans for the future and a grand convention of all the districts. OVERSEAS COLUMN With the February edition of the Verhovay Journal we can start a column to be run with every edition of the journal. In this column any of the Overseas members will be able to contribute articles pertaining to the activities of our members, as well as announcements of engagements and marriages, births and deaths, un usual bits of news and arrivals from Europe. The Pittsburgh district will publish the names of those people who have made known their intention of wanting to become members. Cleveland, Detroit, conscious when I married my wife, so she don’t count.) Each day at noon I have a rendezvous with her, me and nine hundred other men. When I have finished my antiquated food I get in line to pay my check, and look at the cashier. Each man as he stands before this Queen of the court of Commerce tries to make love, propose marriage, or make a date. All I can do is stand and gaze at her till someone shoves me on. She can give you the correct change from a dollar, refuse a proposal, give some sisterly advice, and say “Next please” in thirty seconds. She’s the Duchcs of dollars and dinners, the Countess of compliment and coin, and the Leading Lady of Love and Luncheon. I live for the moment when I stand before her and pay my check. I have never seen one man count his change yet and a good many bankers dine here. I’m still in a daze when I reach the street and only come out of it when I’m nearly hit by a truck. After the truck comes back to try again and misses 1 go on my way. I am cautious though because I don’t want to spend the next few months pick ing automobile fenders out of mv back. After dodging autos, being cursed at by traffic cops, and bawled out by old women for bumping into them I finally reach the office a broken, beaten man, a social outcast. Well, I take up my labors where I left off in the morning and the Radiator whistles while I work. * * * That’s all for this time except that I want to thank Mystricky for the letter, and. I want to say that two heads are better than one anytime but on New Years Day. Chicago, South Bend, please take notice! Send in your list of names and start the ball rolling. There’s no limit to the things we can do once we are organized. Lets cooperate and have a super organization! Keep up your promises you Overseas Members from 1936-37 and 38. Keep in touch with your travel companions and renew old acquaintances and old times through the pages of the Verhovay Journal and the column of the Overseas Club. ALEXANDER GOYDAN, 722 Wiley Avenue McKeesport, Pennsylvania. -------------------O---------------— BRANCH 364, Youngstown, Ohio I should like to take this opportunity to thank the members of Branch 364, for the party they arranged in my honor on Tuesday evening January 9th. I also wish to thank said members for the modern traveling bag which they presented to me on that memorable occasion. Thanks also to Mrs. John Barkó for the delicious cake she made with inscriptions, "Congratulations Our Director.” Thanks also to the "music makers’’ of the evening, namely, the Rendes brothers, Mr. Mate and Mr. Stephen Horvath. Bouquets to Dr. Joseph Prince of Dayton, Ohio, our principle speaker for the evening, who came from the Directors’ meeting at Pittsburgh for the occasion. Since my election as Director was directly responsible for the celebration, I can only hope and sincerely try my utmost to be worthy of the honor vested in me and my representation. Yours fraternally, FRANK J. BROGLEY, Pres. B. 364 and Director. -----------------O------------A large oil company with filling stations in China painted them yellow, not knowing that in China yellow is the color of mourning. It proved an expensive job of painting. Here’s a Real Buy for j §c a Day There is no need to be without sufficient insurance protection because of cost Here is an estate you can establish at age 30 for less than 15 cents a day. SI,000.00 Accidental Death Benefit $2,000.00 Natural Death Benefit * $ 500.00 Sick Benefit and $ 400.00 Maiming Benefit This policy has cash values- and every other standard policy feature. Complete information on this and many other forms of insurance protection is available to you without obligation. Write or phone today . . . NOW, for complete details — VERHOVAY F. I. ASS’N 345 Fourth Ave Pittsburgh, Pa.
