Verhovayak Lapja, 1940. január-június (23. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)

1940-05-09 / 19. szám

Page 8 _ Verhovayak Lapja May 9, 1940. ’Twas Easy “Why, Bridget, how did you make such beautiful scallops in the edge of the Christmas mince pie?” “ ’Twas aisy to do. I just runs me false uppers around it.” * * * Celebrating Mrs. Jones: “Look, dear, how picturesque; the Browns are bringing in a Yule log!” Mr. Jones: “Yule log my eye, that’s Brown!” * * * Too Good The vacuum cleaner man, having finished his demon­stration, turned with a beaming smile and showed the housewife the amount of debris which had been extracted. “Oh, my goodness, isn’t that awful!” said the wo­man. “I’ll have to get rid of that carpet and put down linoleum.” * * * Go to Heaven? “All those who would like to go to heaven,” said the Sunday School teacher, “please raise their hands.” All did, except one. “Why, Johnny,” exclaimed the teacher, “wouldn’t you like to go to heaven?” “Naw,” said Johnny, “not if that bunch is goin.” * * * Their Systems “I am a woman of few words,” announced the haughty mistress to the new maid. “If I beckon with my finger, that means ‘Come!’ ” “Suits me, mum,” replied the girl. “I’m a woman of few words myself. If I shake me head, that means I ain’t cornin’.” * * * His Way “Are you the girl who took my order?” asked the impatient gentleman in the cafe. “Yes, sir,” replied the waitress, politely. “Well I declare,” he re­marked, “you don’t look a day older.” * * * “Well, I think I’ll put the motion before the house,” said the chorus girl as she danced out onto the stage. His Choice Professor—“If fire broke cut in this wonderful art gallery and you had time to save only five pictures, which five would you save?” Art Student—“The five nearest the door.” “So you had dinner with your new girl last night. What’s she like?” “Everything on the menu.” * * * Taking Turns He: “Why not give me my answer now? It’s not fair to keep me in suspense.” She: “But think of the time you’ve kept me in suspense.” ❖ * 5K Her Idea Madge: “Don’t you sailors have a special ship where you get your hair cut? A sort of floating barber shop?” Sailor: “No there ain’t no such ships in our fleet.” Madge: “Then what are these clipper ships I’ve heard so much about?” * * * Perambulating Landmark He was taking a ride in the country with his girl friend. She: “What are you stop­ping the flivver for?” He: “The road map says to turn north and follow the trolley. We’ll have to wait until one comes along.” * * Considerate A Scotchman and his wife walked from their farm to the county fair, his wife laden down with heavy lunch basket. Once arrived at the fair he considerately turned to her and said “You’d better let me carry the basket now, Mary; we might get separated in the crowd.” * * * Obeyed Orders Head Cook: “Didn’t I tell you to watch when the soup boiled over?” Assistant: “I did. It was half past ten.” * * * Bliss They walked along the beach, holding hands and laughing like two un­sophisticated youths. Sud­denly she turned to him, and held open her arms. He drew her close to him, kis­sed her with all the first fires of passion. No one would have guessed they were married. They weren’t. * * * Thrift Note A Scottish farmer’s son had the misfortune to fall in love with two girls at once. The one was tall and strapping, the other was small and slim. The puzzled lover at last asked his father’s advice. “Well,” said the father, “there’s sae muckle machin­ery used in farmin’ noo­­days that a big, active wife is no’ o’ muckle use; so I advise you to take the little ane—she’ll eat less, ony­­way!” * * * First Week “Have another roll, dear?” “Yes, wife, they are deli­cious. Did you buy them all by yourself?” * * Suspicious “Mary,” inquired the lady of the house, suspiciously, “did you wash this fish be­fore you baked it?” And Mary replied: “What’s the use of washing a fish that has been in the water all his life?” / * ♦ * Getting it Over Bilkins ( a chronic dilly dally): “Darling, I had a strange—and a wonderful— dream last night. You know —I—er—well—you see—well in my dream, you know, I— proposed to you. What do you suppose that could be a sign of?” Miss Forthright (despe­rately): “It is a sure sign that you have more sense when you are asleep than when you are awake.” VERIIOVAY >1 I SIIHALL SCHEDULES SCHEDULE FOR VERHOV AY MUSHBALL GAMES— 1ST HALF MAY 26 JUNE 2 JUNE 9 JUNE 16 JUNE 23 JUNE 30 JULY 7 Ellwood Beaver- Falls Homestead Beaver FallsMcKeesport Beaver Falls Zelienople at at at at at at at Beaver Palls Johnstown Beaver Falls YoungstownBeaver Falls E. Pittsburgh Beaver Falls Homestead Zelienople Johnstown ZelienopleE. Pittsburgh Zelienople McKeesport at at at at at at at Zelienople Youngstown Zelienople Ellwood Zelienople McKeesportE. Pittsburgh JohnstownE. Pittsburgh Youngstown E. Pittsburgh Ellwood Homestead Homestead at at at at at at at E. Pittsburgh Ellwood E. PittsburghHomestead Youngstown Ellwood Youngstown YoungstownMcKeesport Ellwood McKeesport Johnstown Youngstown Johnstown at at at at at at at McKeesport Homestead McKeesport Johnstown Homestead Johnstown Ellwood SCHEDULE FOR VERHOV AY MUSHBALL GAMES—- 2ND HALF JULY 14 JULY 21 -JULY 28 AUG. 4 AUG 11 AUG 18 AUG 25 Beaver Falls Johnstown Beaver FallsYoungstown Beaver Falls E. Pittsburgh Beaver Falls at at at at at at at Ellwood Beaver Falls Homestead Beaver FallsMcKeesport Beaver Falls Zelienople Zelienople Youngstown Zelienople Ellwood Zelienople McKeesport E. Pittsburgh at at at at at at at Homestead Zelienople Johnstown Zelienople E. Pittsburgh Zelienople McKeesport E. Pittsburgh Ellwood E. Pittsburgh Homestead Youngstown Ellwood Youngstown at at at at at at at Johnstown E. PittsburghYoungstown E. Pittsburgh Ellwood Homestead Homestead McKeesport Homestead McKeesport Johnstown Homestead Johnstown Ellwood at at at at at at at Youngstown McKeesport Ellwood McKeesport Johnstown Youngstown Johnstown MEETING DATE CHANGED BRANCH 484 Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania Branch 484 shall hereafter hold its monthly meetings on the 3d Monday of the month. The next meeting shall be held on May 20th. Every member is urged to be present as the meeting is very important. Mushball will be discussed and plans for the coming season will be made. Fraternally yours, John Namath, Secretary 484.--------------O-------------­NEWS OF CALDWELL BRANCH 480 We had a fair attendance at our regular meeting held at Viszakay’s Grove on Sat­urday night, May 4th. Beer and sandwiches were served. Here are a few questions to some of our members. 1. Why wasn’t president, P. G. present? 2. What happened to the enthusiasm of J. H.? 3. What member forgot his pretzels? 4. Did I. R. catch a cold going home? Why? It was suggested and passed that we have a barrel of beer and a portable radio at our next meeting, to be held on Saturday, June 1, 1940, 7:30 P. M. at Visza­kay’s Grove. The hat was passed to cover the beer expenses. Well, we hope to see you ALL at our next meeting. THE INSIDER.--------------O-------------­ON A SWEET MAY MORNING On a sweet May morning, ’Neath a soaring sun, Without rhyme or reason. Almost everyone Feels like fairly flying, Like the birds and bees, Just because he’s happy Drinking in the breeze. To the cool green tree-tops First he’d like to soar, Sit there with the robins While their anthems pour; While the leaves, all dancing, Clapping tiny hands, Join the sprightly chorus As the wind commands. Thence in merry circles Swift he’d glide, alight In some field the daisies Cooled with snowy-white; There he’d rest a moment, Breathing fragrance sweet Of the host of flowers Growing at his feet. Then the hills of azure, Joining earth and sky, Seen across the meadows, Soon would catch his eye; Like a lark up-springing, Singing as he goes, Off he’d dart a-wond’ring What the hills disclose. When he’d reached the hill­tops Still such charm there’d be On the far horizon, Toward the boundless sea; Farther, farther, farther He would want to fly, On a sweet May morning. ’Neath a cloudless sky. .

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