The Bethlen Home Messenger, 1991-1992 (1-4. szám)
1992-03-01 / 2. szám
THE CARE FOR YOUR ELDERLY LOVED ONES iirom tlje ^Bßök of Stye ffiettctan_________by Edilh Kovacs ISTEN KÖZELÉBEN Reggel korán, ha ébredek - imádkozom, mini kis gyerek; - Agyamban éji fény dereng, - még nem nyitom ki szememet, mert érzem, hogy Vele vagyok s felvet sok jó gondolatot. . . . * Éleszt, -ringat,- ölébe' tart: - súgja hogyan kerüld a bajt; - Vígasztal, - fogja kezedet. Sok rossz gondodat elveted, Mert O parancsol: "Ezt ne tedd!” S meghajtod okosan fejed . . . ** Máskor rohansz, - én úgy látom: - “nincs időd" rá, semmi áron, hogy meghallgasd, pedig várná, - bár egy éjét aludnál rá, - csak követnéd azt az utat, hol O vezet,- mit O mutat . . . *** Nem vagyok pap, - ne kérdj engem - én úgy élem az életem, hogy jut mindenre még idom, az ÖRÖKÉLET éltetőm . . . A földre csak azért jöttem -• Teremtésben gyönyörködjem - Sok szép növény dús virága, Állatvilág színpompája megragadja a telkemet! Fog a MŰVÉSZ és nem ereszt: “A karod szárny, - motorja van, álomléted határtalan, röpít lek, -lásd- fényéveken, csillagokon jársz éjjelen; míg ‘kocsid’lent, egy pamlagon, őrzi az én Őrangyalom . . . Szenvedést, -bajt-, sokat láttál: - van s lesz több, -sok milliárdnál. . . Sok-sok Universum várja,derüljön fény a homályba.A Föld kísérleti helyem. Itt a Gonosz fejedelem nem ismeri be hibáját, s akik pusztulását várják, - sok gyermekem szerencsétlen -, Vele fut a sötétségben . . . Nem lát engem, bár Fény vagyok s nem hall, ki eltávolodott; - pedig ERŐ, és Hang vagyok - s míg lelked húrján hallgatod:— VELED és veletek vagyok!" Toronto, 1989 augusztus 27. Kovásznai KÖVÉR JÁNOS We had better look the problem in the eye. Problems should be seen clearly to be solved. Since the elderly population is fast growing (12.5% of the entire population in the year 2000), first us, then our children will face the problem of how to care for the elderly. It often happens that the care at home for a sick or frail aged member of the family becomes so burdensome that frustration shakes the marriage of caregiving children; ruins relationships between siblings, and within the two generations, and often leads to such bitterness that it ruins the sweetest heart and deepest love. Maybe an earlier promise given to mother: “You promised never to put me in a nursing home,” causes a deep guilt feeling or influences the decisions of adult children, or husband or wife, toward the care needing person. But now they are unable to take care of him or her, and with strong guilt feelings, place the loved one in an institution. The problem does not end here. The family’s guilt feelings surface in criticism of the staff, triggers criticism of the patient to underline their importance, and won’t “let go” to help them adjust to their new environment. The resident “uses” the family, which again causes bitter resentment and ill feelings. Now that the loved one is in the nursing home, solutions to every problem are expected of the caregivers, which we patiently try to do. Many times our staff members have to explain the underlying psychological reasons for a problem-giving resident’s behavior. Many kinds of resentment manifest, such as: the resident says she is sick, does not want to get up today. The real reason is that her children went on vacation, leaving her behind. Or, he did not eat a bite today. He is not sick in his stomach, but rather, regrets that his family told him they had a festive dinner in the neighboring restaurant. He was not taken, but had to stay in the nursing home instead. And many times we can not figure things out because they are much more complicated. In an Intermediate or Skilled Care Facility, the patient care is normally prescribed by a physician: how to provide ongoing care, medical supervision and rehabilitative therapy. The Skilled Care is just a step down from hospital care, with rigid rules and regulations under Federal and State supervision. It is a very heavy, total care for patients, mostly involving bathing, dressing, toileting and feeding. Which, by the way, is one of the most time consuming jobs, requiring the patience of Job. Very often, as in our nursing home, the Intermediate Care Facility is coupled with a Skilled Care Facility. New residents often enter who do not require complete care. As time goes by or physical conditions warrant, they trade into the Skilled Care, and if they improve, return to Intermediate status. In Intermediate Care, residents are one slight level better physically than the Skilled Care resident. We say it would be nice to provide one to one service to every resident in our home, but to expect such in an institution is unrealistic. The Federal required nursing hours are 2.7 hours for skilled care and 2.3 hours for intermediate residents in 24 hours. It would be very
