Fraternity-Testvériség, 2011 (89. évfolyam, 1. szám)
2011-01-01 / 1. szám
Fraternity I Testvériség Hungarian Wedding Traditions Kathy A. Megyeri A s the Magyar Reformed Church in New Brunswick, NJ anticipates the wedding nuptials of its beloved minister, Zsolt Otvos and his betrothed, Valeria Toth, on May 21st, it’s only fitting that we examine Hungarian wedding traditions that many members of HRFA have included in their ceremonies as well. Today, most Hungarian weddings are more like U.S. weddings than traditional Hungarian weddings, but fortunately, there are still those couples who opt for the more colorful and traditional Hungarian ceremony. If most of the old traditions are upheld, here’s what a typical Hungarian wedding might look like. First, it is traditionally the job of the groom’s best man, usually the godfather of the bride or groom, to personally visit each wedding guest and verbally invite them in a rhyme or poem to the wedding ceremony. It is also his responsibility to arrange for up to three days of wedding festivities. Even today, it is often considered good manners for the bride and the groom to go as a couple to personally invite relatives, neighbors, and close friends to their wedding, but in many cases, printed invitations have taken the place of this tradition. The bride’s traditional Hungarian dress is very colorful and elaborately embroidered, most often with a flower motif, and in three bright and vibrant colors that are repeated in her large and elaborate headdress, which also includes woven wheat as a symbol of fertility. Under her dress are many layers of underskirts. The fancy beaded and embroidered dolls popular as tourist items in Hungary today are modeled after this traditional wedding attire. Today, most brides, however, opt for a white wedding dress similar to those worn in the U.S. and in western Europe. As in the past, it is the custom for large numbers of people, sometimes the entire village, to form a wedding procession to escort the bride and all her trousseau from her home to the groom’s home or to the church in a colorfully painted and decorated cart. Along the way, the bride-to-be is repeatedly toasted and wished well. It is not uncommon for her to be “kidnapped” by a group of cheerful onlookers of men and women and then taken somewhere where the husband-to-be has to “rescue” his bride before the ceremony and pay a large “ransom” to retrieve her. The money is returned to him later. Celebrations along the way take place as people come out of their homes and toast the couple to offer their best wishes. When the bride-to-be reaches the groom’s home, his parents greet her with a candle and a glass of wine that she drinks, and then, as is the custom, she tosses the glass over her shoulder and allows it to break. The future bride is then presented Traditional Hungarian wedding dress with a hard-boiled egg to throw on the floor and break to ensure that her future children will be healthy. Next, a handful of small coins is tossed on the floor, and both bride and groom break plates on the floor as well. With a broom that has been left in the doorway, the bride sweeps up all the shards of plates, egg shells, coins, and glass and separates out the coins to prove that she is an industrious woman. The more pieces of pottery and plates she collects, the more successful her marriage will be since the old Hungarian saying is that “many pieces make for a successful marriage.” Sometimes, this event is concluded by the family who offer the bride a honey and braided cake to assure her of a “sweet” marriage. All Hungarian weddings, to be legal, must be civil and take place in the courthouse. So after all the required paperwork has been completed a month before the marriage, the civil ceremony is then usually followed by a church ceremony. First, the couple enters the courthouse hand-in-hand, and at least two witnesses accompany them and sit in chairs while the brief ceremony takes place after which the couple signs their names in a registry book. Since most couples prefer a religious ceremony following the civil or secular ceremony, the wedding procession most likely follows the couple from the courthouse to the church. In general today, Hungarian weddings are less formal and rehearsed than in the U.S., but they follow a simpler, similar format. During the church ceremony, the couple sits on a platform at the front of church with their witnesses seated nearby. Guests approach the couple to tell stories about them, read a poem, sing a song, recall a remembrance, and to officially wish them well. It is still customary today for the engaged couple to wear their 9
