Fraternity-Testvériség, 2011 (89. évfolyam, 1. szám)
2011-01-01 / 1. szám
I Spring 2011 Lutheran minister, Kathy and Les Megyeri and Hungarian priest, 1970, Washington, DC wedding rings on their left hand during their engagement, and at the conclusion of the church ceremony, they switch their rings to their right hands. In keeping with tradition, the bride presents the groom with a gift of either three or seven handkerchiefs — both 3 and 7 are lucky numbers — and the groom traditionally presents his bride with a small bag of coins. As the couple leaves the church, wedding gifts are presented to them, but care must be taken to keep track of what each guest gives as it is customary for the couple to give a similar gift the next time the gift-giver has a special occasion that calls for a present. Since in Hungary, the family name comes first and the personal name follows, the bride’s name is often the husband’s with a “-ne” added to her name. Today, however, the prevalent trend is for the bride to keep her maiden name. At the wedding reception, there is an endless supply of food, often flavored with paprika, which is believed to possess almost magical properties. The meal starts with a thin broth soup, usually cooked noodles, vegetables and meats will be added, and that will be followed by chicken paprikash, beef goulash. Soproni wedding soup, cold cherry soup, and stuffed cabbage. Next will be served elaborate “bar cookies,” pastries and lavishly decorated wedding cakes; usually a choice of ten desserts are offered. The practice of the bride and groom feeding each other cake is not traditional in Hungary; instead the main wedding cake is served to the guests by the couple. There is much singing, dancing, music and drinking. When the couple dances their first dance, a ring of dancers forms to dance around them in a “circle dance.” Even today, traditional folk dances and gypsy music are popular at wedding receptions, and the violin is still the most favored musical instrument there. As the evening progresses, the bride’s father or the best man announces that “the bride is for sale” as it is customary for the new bride to dance a “money dance” where male guests “pay” to dance with the bride, either pinning money to her dress or dropping money into her shoes which remain in the middle of the dance floor. Guests are expected to be generous when “paying” for a dance with the bride as this money will be used by the couple to pay for their honeymoon or to set up their new home. Guest books are circulated among the guests during the reception and usually a page of good wishes accompanies each entry in the books, which are treasured long afterwards. Pieces may be quoted from “A Treasury of Hungarian Love Poems, Quotations, and Proverbs in Hungarian and English” by authors Sándor Petőfi, Mihály Babits, Gyula Illyés and others. Boxes of cake are given to the guests as they leave. In the wee small hours of the morning, the wedding party puts the couple to sleep and locks them in a room while the guests continue partying. As the couple departs the festivities the next day, the bride says goodbye to her parents and they reply with nostalgic childhood remembrances and “good peasant moral philosophy” that ends in tears and farewells. In the 18th century, extravagant wedding expenses became threats to peasant welfare. Weddings were so expensive that some farmers became bankrupt, and divorces were rare as no one could afford a second wedding. Consequently, elopements became more common. But during the Communist era in Hungary, church weddings were discouraged and the farmer’s traditional wedding became a showcase of “agricultural success” and symbols of “folk identity.” Even today, many communities “stage” 10
