Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. július-december (24. évfolyam, 27-52. szám)
1941-09-25 / 39. szám
Page 12 i. V erhovayak Lapja September 25, 1941 THE HUMOROUS =VEIN= Good Aim “I met your father last evening, and spoke to him about our being married.’' “Did he strike you favorably?” “Well, not exactly favorably, but rather accurately.” Encouraging A man was smashed up in a railroad accident. The family received a wire saying, “Mr. Hess in railroad Wreck. Both legs, both arms, back and neck broken, and Iknll fractured,“ A few hours later a second dispatch arrived, “Not so bad as at first reported. One arm not broken.” Poor Pa “We dined out last night, and Pa disgraced us sis UvSual.” “How was that?” “He got to the end of the dinner with three forks and a couple of spoons unused.” Wise One Three managers of chicken farms in Russia were being questioned by an investigator. “What do you feed your chickens?” he asked the first. “Corn.” “You’re under arrest! We use corn to feed people!” The second overheard this conversation, and tried to play safe. “What do you feed your chickens?” came the question. “Com husks.” “You’re under arrest! We use the husks to make cloth. 4.nd you?” he asked, turning to the third man. “I give my chickens the money and tell them to go and buy their own food.” Just Talking Husband: “I’m glad, dear, that you’re impressed by all the explanations I have been giving you about banking and currency." Wife: “Yes, darling. It seems wonderful that anyone could know so much as you about money without having any.” Weak and Hopeless Doctor: “You are suffering from indigestion. Drink a cupful of hot water every morning.” Patient: “I’ve been doing that for some time, doctor, only my landlady calls it coffee.” Back to Earth The aviation instructor, having delivered a lecture on parachute work, concluded: “And if it doesn’t open —well, gentlemen, that’s vhat is known as ‘jumping to a conclusion’.” One of ’Em Mark Twain was one day strolling down his native street in Missouri, when a small boy came tearing around the corner and ran pell-mell into the great writer. Twain picked the lad up and asked: “Say, sonny, what’s the rush?” “I’m trying to stop two kids from being in a fight,” the youngster replied, pantingly. “Who are the boys, and where are they?” asked Mark Twain. “Well, I’m one of ’em,” replied the youngster. Making love is like making pie. All you need is a lot of crust and some applesauce. Efficiency Expert: “Sort these old letters into alphabetical order and then throw them away.” Some men believe that... the best way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run. History repeats itself, twenty years ago a man who drove 15 miles an hour in an auto created a sensation. He could do the same thing now. The reason some married men never know when they are well off is because they never are. Contractor—“D o e s the foreman know the trench has caved in?" Laborer—“If he doesn’t, we’ll tell him as soon as we dig him out." LITTLE JULIUS SNEEZER BY BAKER wtti How-D >* eve* ACCOMPLISH SUCH A OHM. AT Ft AT f YA SEt r MW GOW DOWN FOR the last TlM£.A*H> I TWWW' 3*0» WELL WHAT <3000 HW T**e »Apr 00 TOO MBAN 1ATSUMC.V^WVKO AÄMU. I PROM 0ROWNIN’I J SWt WAfHCP Hi After ARMftt.' HEROES OF SPORT By BILL ERWIN PLAYER IN A MOST DANGEROUS SPORT- HtS IS A SAME IN WHICH YOU MUST ALWAYS WIN.----iHtSrOPW IS "TOLD BY THE AWE STRICKEN NATTYES ^ OF A SOUTH AMERICAN JUNGLE ABOUT-A COURAGEOUS, GERM AN-WHO WAD COME TO THE JUNGLES TOR GAME.—-----WHISPERS OF THWARTED LOVE AFFAIR— PERHAPS THAT MAKES THE BRAVE SIEMEL SO FIERCE. YES jJ even a bow and apaow became to __ .EAST-NOW HE CAUSES THE fy'gt /k jj SPRINGING JAGUAR W IffJ mMl. to IMPALE HIMSELF T§ llWlBwlL upon his _ / E
