Verhovayak Lapja, 1940. január-június (23. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)

1940-01-25 / 4. szám

Page 18

January 25, 1940.

Verhovayak Lapja

♦♦♦THE HUMOROUS VEIN♦ ♦♦

XMAS SHOPPING

Dave had been looking over the Christmas cards on the counter for some time, when the saleswoman suggested: “Here’s a lovely sentiment, “To the only girl I ever loved.”

“That’s fine,” Dave said, brightening, “I’ll take five

—no, six of those, please.” ♦ * * *

BLAME SANTA

Little Bobby had been given a new watch for Christ mas, and was quite proud of its time-keeping qualities. Early one evening, watch in hand, he rushed into the house, shouting to his father:

“What time does the sun set today?"

“At five fifty-four,” answered his dad.

“Well,” replied Bobby consulting his watch, “If the darned thing doesn’t snap out of it, she’ll be late.”

* * * RELIEVED

Bride—“Did I look nervous during the ceremony?”

Bridesmaid—“No, darling, not after Jack said, T do.’ ” * * *

NO PEEPIN'

Small Brother: “Say, sis, can I hang' up one of your stockings Christmas Eve?”

Big Sister: “What on earth do you want to hang up one of mine for?"

Small Brother: “So’s I oan see what I got without getting out of bed.”

* * *

SURE

Boy Friend: “You’re dancing with me tonight and I suppose tomorrow you’ll be making a date with some other man.”

Girl Friend: “Yes, with my chiropodist.”

* * *

MISSED SANTA

It was his first holiday away from home ... and his absence was accounted for by the fact that as a policeman he had been given a new beat just a couple of days before Christmas. His sergeant had been showing him over the territory late at night. “D’ye see that red light in the distance? Well, that’s the limit of your beat. Now get along with you.” The young policeman set out, and was not seen again for a week. When he did show up at headquarters the sergeant demanded furiously where he had been. “Ye remember that red

light?” asked the cop. “Yes”, replied the sergeant. “Well,” said the young officer, “that was a bus bound for Chicago.”

* * *

AFTER THOUGHT

Doctor: “The best thing for you is to stop drinking and smoking, go to bed early, and get up early in the morning.”

Patient (after considering it): “Say, Doc. I don’t think I’m worthy of the best;

what’s second choice?”

* * *

Question: “Does the moon affect the tide?”

Answered: “No, only the untied.”

* * *

THERE SHE WAS

“Boy, Oh, boy, that was some blonde you had last night. Where did you get her?”

“Dunno: I just opened my billfold and there she was.”

* * *

An economical wife is one whose husband wears one darned thing after another. * * *

DUE DEC. 25

Landlady: “I’ll give you just three days in which to pay your board.”

Student: “All right. I’ll pick the 4th of July, Christmas and Easter.”

* * *

SANTA’S LISTS

“Since you don’t seem to know what you’d like to have for Christmas, Freddie,” said his mother, “here’s a printed list of presents for a good little boy.”

Freddie read over the list carefully, and then inquired:

“Mother, haven’t you a list for a bad little boy?”

* * *

SANTA REMEMBERED

“When I was a little child,” the sergeant sweetly addressed his men at the end of an exhaustive hour of drill, “I had a set of wooden soldiers. There was a poor little boy in the neighborhood and after I had been to Sunday School one day and listened to a stirring talk on the beauties of charity I gave them to him. Then I wanted them back and cried, but my mother said:

“Don’t cry, Bertie, some day you’ll get your wooden soldiers back.”

“And, believe me, you lopsided, mutton-headed, goofus-brained set of certified

roling pins, that day has come!”

* * *

RIGHT

“What would your father say if he saw you out at this time of night?”

“He’d say, ‘Don’t tell Ma’!”

* * *

Life begins at forty, but what of it? So does rheumatism.

* * *

SCOTCH

“Sandy, I dinna like it— ya take every corner on two wheels..”

“Oo, aye Maggie, but dinna disturb yaself—it cuts ma yearly tire bill about half.”

* * *

IN AFRICA

Big Game Hunter: “Good heavens! Cannibals!”

Wife (trying to be brave):

“Now, now, dear, don’t get into a stew.”

* * *

A true lover of music is a man who, upon hearing a soprano voice in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole.

* * *

HE KNOWS

Son: “Say, Dad, how do they catch lunatics?”

Dad (gruffly): “With face powder, rouge, pretty clothes, and a sweet smile, my boy.”

* * *

SPORTMANSHIP

First Golfer: “Confound it, sir, you nearly hit my wife.”

Second Golfer: “Did I? Well, have a shot at mine!” * * *

Believe It or Not: Dimmest lights have the greatest scandal power.

DOESN’T NEED IT

“This book of Universal Knowledge will tell you everything you ought to know,” declared the agent at the door.

“Don’t need it,” growled Mr. Grouch, “my wife tells me all that—and a lot more

besides.”

* * *

LITTLE OFF

“I can’t give you more credit, sir. Your bill is bigger now than it should be.”

“I know that. Just make it out as it should be, and I’ll pay it.”

* * *

QUESTION

“Daddy!” exclaimed the boy.

“One more question, then,” sighed the tired father. “Only one.”

“How far is it,” inquired the tot, “between to and fro?”

NEW YORK STYLE LETTER

Young coats will be military, and everybody loves a soldier. Gray-blue of the West Pointer’s greatcoat with a dashing cape, gold buttons and a soldier red lining, just to go the cadets one better, please the eye of the teen age girl for spring. Mothers like this style too because of its smart simplicity.

* * *

Red, white and blue, not just to be patriotic, but because it is good style, will dazzle the American resorts this winter and later on, too. Night and day this tricolor combination will be seen at the gayest spots, on the loveliest ladies. Exotic, tropical prints in bold designs for daytime are accented by wide-brimmed straw hats and patent leather pumps. Ballerina skirts for bathing suits; pinafore frocks and short play dresses are important fashions to keep in mind when you think about the south or the summer.

* * *

When you 'are planning your new spring frocks, consider navy serge as a smart fabric. This season there is a revival that brings this lovely fabric back into the fashion picture. It is just right for an all-day dress that you will find indispens able. The new version is naat and nice with white

From

Anne M. Griffin Peerless Fashion Service 121 West 19th Street New York, N. Y.

linen or pique pleated at the neckline and cuffs.

* * *

First Paris became pocketminded for utilitarian reasons, then pockets became BIG fashion. The French women find them very necessary in war time for carrying important papers and other necessities. Now it looks as though pockets are going to lead the way in many important fashion, They are large and are seen singly or in pairs. They influence the silhouette in that they are so large the skirts will of necessity be slimmer, and hips more important.

* * *

Be effective and comfortable at the same time, agiainst a snow background. If you are the athletic type and go in for the fascinating sport of skiing, you will want to know about the very newest in ski wear. There is a much talked of return to knickers, which are said to be the most, comfortable for active wear, and more becoming to many than the other types. They are worn mostly by professional skiers and well dressed amateurs at the more popular winter resorts.

Wool jackets to match the trousers are being worn more and more, but contrasting windbreakers are as smart as ever. Navy is the leading trouser color, but slate blue, gunmetal grey, dark green and rust are very lovely against the white of the snow. After ski wear is almost essential these days, and many women who never touch a ski are taking to these warm quilted print skirts and pert little jackets, for sheer comfort as well as chic, at home.

Wool, velveteen and corduroy are among the bright color slack suits and shirts that make winter evenings a war pleasure at the lodge or in your own home.

♦ * *

Look for Javanese cotton prints in play clothes, beach dresses, skirts and dressmaker bathing suits. Millinery and matching handbags also take well to these lovely prints that promise to be the successors to the India prints of the last two years. They are gay and unusual and are bound to be a favorite style with the younger. girls as well as seme of their elders. If you are going south, you will see and wear them; if not, you will want to keep your eye on them for this summer.