Magyar News, 1996. szeptember-1997. augusztus (7. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
1997-07-01 / 11-12. szám
Bridgeport, July-Aug 1997 In anticipation to an upcoming trip to Hungary 1 had a few thoughts. One of them was about the name we call the country where we or our parents, grandparents came from. In general we refer to it as the Old Country. In this case old is not a reference to its age. It is not like comparing eleven hundred years to the few hundreds of the United States. This here, the U.S.A., is the new world, so the other one is in the old world Then probably the most noticeable is the difference in the life style. Specially for those who came from a village and did not have the experience of running water, electricity and the many massproduced items. Unfortunately the Hungarian traditions and culture, that goes far beyond the w ealth of material that we here are able to enjoy, was also put into the category of 'old' If we take a survey of what is preserved of the many things that came across the ocean with the Hungarians or as a matter of fact with any other nationalities, we find an interesting bundle. Naturally many valuables got lost in the transition. Among the survivors are the Hungarian cooking, gypsy music and the diminishing practice of dancing the chardash. Interesting though, I don't remember anybody saying ‘old cooking' or ‘old music' They say Hungarian cooking and old songs but that is not in the same context. Using the word ‘old’ as an adjective for a country does not necessarily mean putting it down, doesn't mean that the country was used away, had its time, or it is not needed any more. The spirit behind this word suggests respect, something like a family tie, something that we could always call on. or fall back on. The newcomers to this country, the first generation, always go through a cultural shock. But despite the hardships, prosperity helped them make the adjustment to the new life With the next generation, already living the American way, we see many members of the community not only disconnecting from their family's past but even defying it. They keep a keen eye on their parents. They want them to blend in like they, the children, do among the American kids. The ‘old’ language, and probably the parents" appearance is noticeably different and it bears a marking on the new. American style Specially the Hungarian women are more conservative then men with their dressing and attitude. This seems to have a stronger showing at church services and social events. It might have an American accent but the Hungarian comes through strong. Men’s appearance is not that strong. On weekdays it is the work cloths and on Sunday it is conservative with no special decoration. They say that some characteristics in a family usually skip one or two generations. It might be possible that the desire to know about one's personal, or family history shows up on the third or fourth level. Grandchildren or great grandchildren start inquiring about the family's origin. Some, if not many, go out of their way to put together the family tree. The longer the wait, the harder it is. But in cases they want to succeed. To take off and visit the old country has many sources of interest. Some people go just as they would to see any other country in the world. The emotional ties are totally missing. The curiosity has little to do with the ancestors. An other group adds more to this visit; they want to see and experience the places and ways that their parents or grandparents used to talk about. Do they find it? Well not exactly. Not only because thing have changed but also the stones were lopsided. It is human to remember - most of the time - the good things. Even when one talks about the extreme hardships, the misery of the war. the life threatening events of the revolution, one slips over these in an abstract way . It is true that they were looking for shelter in the cellar. but they had a good time with neighbors playing cards and talking about the “good” times. The history of Hungary truly lends itself to repeated mishaps and tragedies, but the memory changes them. As an example. In the Russian POW camp we were practically starving But recalling that time, we talk about John and Steve, who with great imagination constantly were cooking up concoctions in their mind to the amazement of all of us The most sophisticated gourmet restaurants couldn't keep up with the fantasy dishes. All this while everybody was starving. Good memory. Some people seek the tranquility of the old countfy. Here with the hustle of our daily life, trying to beat the clock, pay the bills, manage and maintain all the things we acquire in relatively short time, we develop the caveman's syndrome; we have less headaches if we have less things To look for this atmosphere in the old country is futile. In comparison to us they may be lagging, but they are on the way to catch up with us slowly wiping out the tranquility we hope to find and replace it with what we would like to run away from. Sitting on the bench with friends in front of die house, having long discussions and smoking the old pipe became a rare picture. But one visiting the old country still hopes to find it There is an interesting question about a visit, and about what one would be seeking to find. Those who go the first time have a different idea to those who already visited a few times. The first time visitor looks for the memories and in a way is disturbed by new changes. The new big buildings and paved roads, electricity in far out country places might be an eye opener but doesn't bring out the response of the soul. Friends tell about the changes, some as a warning, some as an encouragement. All of them being different. The only thing that is left is to have a personal experience. Joseph F. Balogh Page 1
