Egri Dohánygyári Híradó, 1995

1995-11-01

RADICAL SURPRISE DEPARTMENT

SUBJECT: Utilization of the swimming pool in our factory

PROBLEM: After examining the present status of some unused establishments in our factory we have found that there are a lot of useful areas without any function. As we had agreed with the managers we started with a comprehensive study into this matter.

AREA CONCERNED IN THIS STUDY: The swimming-pool of our factory situated in front of the tobacco warehouse in the middle of the park.

ACTION RECOMMENDED (ALTERNATIVES):

1. Breeding of turtles for lunch purposes

2. Breeding of sharks (the ideal training partner for our workers who like swimming)

legs,

eyes and scute in a fashionable color (RAL 4051) other colors are at an extra cost.

Big white shark with a swimming trainer licence. OPTIONS:

9 sets of teeth (Amodent type), flipper, swimming-belt.

BACKGROUND CONCERNING THE PROBLEM ADDRESSED A very nice deep old-fashioned swimming-pool was built about 30 years ago in the Egri Dohánygyár. Nowadays it does not have any useful function — it is only a hole in the ground. It is too big for us to take it home but big enough to remain at the present location.

Source of the problem

1. Some unknown person dug this in our marvellous park.

2. It is very deep and dusty.

3. It is very dangerous for drunken mice who may fall into this pit.

4. If you wanna swim a good you can be our Búvár Kund.

5. This swimming-pool is totally unsuitable in which to install a Protos PM/Max PM/HCF80 cigarette maker line.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:

1. Breeding of a special type of turtle as we call it ‘lunch- turtle’ for our factory restaurant.

2. Breeding of sharks for sport reasons.

3. A mixed version for sharks and turtles as well. Recommendation and reason for it:

We recommend the 3rd alternative, purchasing of brood- sharks and brood-turtles, because it will give us a possibility to solve the problem of the unused swimming-pool and this solution is healthy and delicious.

JUSTIFICATION OF THE PROPOSAL:

Prototypes of the proposed animals:

Special ‘lunch-turtle’ with optional equipment such as

CONCLUSION:

We should buy 20 turtles and 3 sharks. Every 2nd turtle will be a healthy breakfast for our sharks. Later the feeding problems will be solved when the swimming training starts for our brave colleagues.

ADVANTAGES:

1. Useful function for the swimming-pool.

2. Cheap way to refresh our meal habits.

3. Quick swimming and escape from the pool is a very healthy sport.

4. Sharks and turtles are kind tame animals (i. e. Teenager Ninja Mutant Turtles).

5. We can use the sharks in an efficient method to solve our headcount questions.

DISADVANTAGES:

1. This solution needs investment in USD.

2. We should install some warning signs around the pool (expense).

3. We have to employ a person who will look after the animals.

Please examine this proposal and let us know of your final decision.

For the report

A. Lukács