Calvin Synod Herald, 1975 (75. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
1975-01-01 / 1-2. szám
6 CALVIN SYNOD HERALD TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PARENTS 1. THOU SHALT START WITH THYSELF. The parent who attempts to train children to have good manners but has none himself is fighting a losing battle. 2. THOU SHALT BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAN RULES. Law is not the last word about life. Jesus believed the law should be based on what was good for man. If the law did not help man grow into the fullness of God’s intention for him, the law was incomplete and should be adjusted. So with the family. Parents need to be more concerned with building healthy relationships between themselves and their children. If the child knows he is loved and respected as a person, he is less likely to rebel against ethical standards. The child who is unsure of being loved most often breaks the rules because he is alienated and angry. 3. THOU SHALT IMPART THE FAITH. Parents have the basic responsibility for religious education. NO ONE ELSE. A humorist once said, “An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.” The church can only assist parents, not replace them. No amount of Bible teaching in the church school can substitute for Bible study at home. The Christian faith must be lived at home. 4. THOU SHALT LEARN TO LISTEN. Listening is a real art. We always find it easier to talk. Listening to another person means acknowledging his worth as a person, respecting him, and trying to understand his viewpoint. We know another person only as we listen to him. 5. THOU SHALT SPEND TIME WITH THY CHILDREN. Children need their parents to play with them, to read to them, to take trips, hikes, and to go to good amusements. Years pass quickly, and opportunities to be a family together soon pass into yesterday. We need to seize the opportunities to spend time together. 6. THOU SHALT ACKNOWLEDGE FAULTS AS A PARENT. We can never do all that is needed either for ourselves or our children. Instead, the family is dependent on God’s grace for its life. Parents who refuse to admit their failures and short comings end by blaming both their children and themselves for their inadequacies. 7. THOU SHALT KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR. A family was watching a skit on T.V. The parents started laughing. Their three-year-old son, of course, did not understand the skit’s humor but thought their laughing was funny. So he started laughing. Soon they were laughing at his laughing at them. Most of us take ourselves too seriously. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves. Laughter releases pent-up despair and relieves hostility. It has been rightly said, “To everything there is a season... a time to laugh (Eccl. 3:1-4). 8. THOU S PI ALT TREAT THY CHILDREN EQUALLY. A child is a unique gift from God. There is no other child like your first-born, or second, or third. Each has his own individual personality — extrovert, introvert, brilliant or otherwise. One child should not be compared to another. He should be loved for who he is —• not for what you want him to become. A good parent loves in spite of imperfection. Over each child we should pray: “Thank you, Creator God, for this, your special gift.” 9. THOU SHALT USE DISCIPLINE. An astute observer of the American family has said that we are a child — centered culture. Instead of parents discipling the children, children discipline their parents! Discipline may include punishment, but we should not think of it as primarily negative. Discipline is providing a structure for growing up which includes protection and guidance. It is “yes-saying” (approval of constructive behavior) as well as “no-saying (disapproval of destructive behavior). Discipline is closely related to love and acceptance. Parents who do not provide a disciplined structure do not really love their children. “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” (Proverbs 13:24) 10. THOU SHALT KNOW WHEN TO LET GO. This is the last commandment, but not so in importance. As parents we naturally want to feel needed as long as possible. This desire tempts up to over protect our children. Being tied to mother’s apron strings is like having a noose around your neck. Wise parents accept their changing role by recognizing their children’s need to be freed from emotional dependency on them. (This completes a proposed ten commandments for parents. They are offered in gratitude for mothers and fathers of every generation who have kept faith with their children by equipping them for responsible living.) Michael Daves * "THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS UPON THE CHARACTER OF YOUR THOUGHTS” * 7 know that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not ívhat I meant.
