William Penn Life, 2014 (49. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
2014-12-01 / 12. szám
Aging Well with Cathy Graharh' Three keys to aeinp well TALK ABOUT IT, laugh about it or forget about it. As I see things, these are the only three alternatives we need when coping with life's curve balls. At some time or another, we all have to face some really awful news. This is the kind of stuff we need to talk about. These big deals may be health-related (your own or a loved one's), financial woes, divorce, addictions or death. When something happens that swallows all other thoughts and alters the business of the day-something life changingpull your support system in tight and do the best you can. But, please talk about what's happening instead of bottling it up. When something makes you question or dig deeper into your faith, that's a red flag to seek the wisdom of a minister or the like. Suppressing emotions is not an option. The negative effects of holding it in will end up affecting your own health, and that can lead to more complications. The time to laugh about it is when you think something is a big deal when, truly, it is not. So, you made a mistake that changed a perceived outcome made you look a little foolish. Own up to it, then laugh about it. I have a tendency to find myself in ridiculous situations that could be a tad stressful, but a good sense of humor has always taken away the sting. For instance, I was on my way to an early morning meeting years ago, and I was a bit nervous. I was new to the group and a little unsure of the directions. As I approached a red light, I had a gigantic sneeze attack. I didn't see the BMW in front of me stop, and I kind of glided into his rear bumper. The gentleman driving the BMW was understandably salty because he, too, was on his way to work, and the exchange of insurance information took a little too long for his liking. Well, of course, this upset me because I hit a very expensive vehicle and upset a very polished savvy businessman. Eventually, I got back on the road, running late to the meeting-double yikes! I finally found the place, and I was an embarrassing 15 minutes late. As I tried to slink into the meeting unnoticed, my eyes met the eyes of the BMW driver who I had just bumped into; he was presiding over the meeting. At this point, you just have to laugh about it. Forgetting about it is the approved method for the little squirrely things that come our way. Forgetting to get the one thing you went to the store for, wearing two different shoes to work or spilling the first precious cup of coffee in the morning are all things to forget about. Yes, Virginia, I have done all three and then some. If the small things set you off, the big things will pull you under. When you have to deal with something big, find someone you trust to talk to, and define what you can change and what you have to accept. Learn to laugh about your "oh, crap" moments and forget about the little things. When you age well, you live well! Cathy Graham is director of the Graceful Aging Wellness Center at Bethlen Communities in Ligonier, Pa. You're never too old for love l I wo people meet while volunteering JLat the local food bank, and they hit it off immediately. He likes the way her nose crinkles when she smiles, and she loves his unpolished charm. They decide to meet for lunch, and the spark is ignited. One date leads to another, then another. Before you know it, they are texting mid-day and calling each other just to say goodnight. His friends can’t believe how chatty he has become. Her friends have noticed a subtle change in the way she dresses and the new hair style. Before long, these two hardly go a day without seeing each other. After a romantic dinner for two at a cozy restaurant, they agree, it’s time to tell the kids. The kids aren’t exactly jumping for joy on either side. The son thinks his mother is too old to date, and the gentleman’s children think she may be after their inheritance. After much consideration, the happy couple decides to continue being happy. After all, who said you can’t find love in your 70’s, 80’s or 90’s? Dating in the golden years is pretty much the same as dating in your teens, 20’s or 30’s. Do your homework and find out as much about the person as you can and keep it safe. Possibly the biggest obstacles you will have to overcome will be from your children. Just let them know that you appreciate their concern, however your pursuit of happiness is very important. Perhaps your children won’t mind at all. Having someone to share your interests with is a big deal. It is very possible that they will be applauding the fact that you have a twinkle in your eye. The funny thing I have realized about love is that it is actually kind of ageless. I still have the same feelings and thoughts about love that I have always had. I think a healthy relationship is a good thing, and holding hands and kissing is good for the soul. I don’t think that ever leaves us. Companionship is valuable regardless of age. Remember this friends: you are never too old, or too anything, to fall in love again. You can quote me on that.- Cathy Graham Photo © Can Stock Photo lnc./rtbilder William Penn Life 0 December 2014 0 15
