William Penn Life, 2000 (35. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
2000-05-01 / 5. szám
much as a parent might believe. Don't go to great lengths to soothe the pain. Let your child's natural reaction guide your own reaction. • Making big plans. Stop yourself immediately if you find yourself thinking, "Wow! With her talent, she could be a real star." • Growing impatient. Parents sometimes worry that their child isn't progressing fast enough. Or isn't playing up to his potential. It's easy to see why projection is bad: It implies that your child isn't measuring up to the standards that your fantasies are setting. The hard part is catching yourself when the results of projection show themselves, often in the heat of battle. There are positive things parents can do to help their youngster succeed: 1. Consider sports camps if the child is enthusiastic about team play and has real desire to improve skills. 2. Give the coaches a break. If the coaching staff is reasonably fair and treats the kids with respect, avoid the temptation to second guess their judgment. Approach problems in a positive light, preferably outside the hearing of your child. And don't hesitate to pull your child from a team headed up by a coach who is abusive (physically or verbally) or who puts a child at risk of injury. 3. Make safety priority one. Check that equipment and clothing is well-fitted to your child and is up-to-date. Watch for signs of overtraining, such as excessive fatigue or soreness. Encourage kids to play a variety of positions and sports; over-specialization at a young age leads to injuries as well as burn-out. Post-Game Wrap-Up There is, perhaps, no better time to demonstrate your good-parent sportsmanship than right after a game. Allow for a cooling-off period. In this time, close your mouth and open Info Links For great information on how to be a good parent when it comes to your kids and sports, check out www.sportsparents.eom. It offers tips and advice as well as eyeopening comments from children. your arms. "Put your arm around them," says Zembower. "Remind them that we are out here for the fun of it, and there is going to be another day." Also, ask questions about their performance, such as: "What is the one thing you did that you would like to do again?" "What is the one thing you did that you would like to do differently?" "Did you have fun?" Then, there are those things you should not do. For instance, don't ridicule people or performance. Remember when you were young and had the same experience. Share with your child how you dealt with that experience. Don't immediately ask about winning, either. Winning should not be the top priority and, therefore, should not be your first concern. The outcome only concerns many younger kids for about three minutes after a game. "After that, they are more interested in where the snow cone stand is than with losing or winning," says Zembower. Parents also should not launch into an instant, detailed post-game analysis. Rick Wolff, coaching and sports psychology expert, calls it the station wagon syndrome featuring your child as the back seat prisoner and the parent as the inquisitor. "Let your child tell you," says Wolff, "versus you telling the child what you would have done." The bottom line of all this: Let your kids enjoys sports. And let yourself enjoy them, too. Never forget that games are for playing, Copyright (c) 2000 Meredith Corporation. Reprinted with permission. JODS What YOU Can Do ✓ Talk to your parents. Let them know which sports you enjoy playing and which ones you don't. If your parents say or do something that embarrasses you or makes the games less fun, tell them about it. Be honest about your feelings. ✓ Talk to your coach. If you don't understand what you're supposed to do, ask your coach. If you're riding the pine while other kids get more playing time, ask your coach how you can improve your game. ✓ Listen to your coach. Your coach knows the game and can help you become a better player. ✓ PUT FUN FIRST. Sure, winning feels better than losing, but what good is winning if the game isn't fun? Willi» fen Lile, May 2000 9
