Verhovayak Lapja, 1945 (28. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)
1945 / Verhovay Journal
Page 8 EXCUSE US! GAMBLINGS OF THE MELANCHOLIC EDIT OB Since the beginning of the war the English dictionary has been enriched by a new word: GREMLINS. „Pilots and crew-members of aircraft claim the gremlins as their exclusive property and sneer at civilians who dare to appropriate the word and use it to describe annoyances which are beypnd their own control. Regardless of what the airctaftmen say, the word GREMLINS is here to stay and it will certainly appear m Webster’s next edition. Therefore, always trying to be a bit ahead of the times, we take the liberty of using this ominous word for the description of our own little troubles of which we have plenty. * * * It must be gremlins that cause us to mistype a word and not notice the mistake when re-reading the material for corrections. It does happen. Of course, gremlins are powerful things. Often they descend upon the boys who (mis) handle the automobiles at the parking lot which is right below our window. It seems, the (Continued from Page 7) beneficiary. The birth certificates ef the children were requested for the same reason. Such documentary evidence is necessary to forestall the possibility of fraud. If the Association would waive its demand for such documents, almost anyone could pose as a claimant. All these complications are avoidable if the member names but one beneficiary or, if preferred, an additional alternate beneficiary. CHANGE PROVISIONS WHEN CONDITIONS CHANGE A great many complications arise from neglecting to make proper changes when the circumstances of the member had changed. When several children have been named beneficiaries and one of them died, a change of beneficiaries should be executed without delay. The insured may die any day and then the securing of the amount left to the dead child involves a, legal procedure. If the wife dies, the husband should change the provisions pertaining to his beneficiaries immediately lest he do great disservice to his children. If the husband dies, the wife should act likewise, or else her insurance Will be distributed among all who have a claim on the estate and little, if any, may be left to the child who cared for the mother throughout her illness-It should be emphasized here that much annoyance is caused by girls who joined the Association under their maiden name and fail to have their membership certificate changed accordingly. If she is a member of the Sick Benefit Department, she may claim child-birth benefit. The manager or the physician will report the case under her married name. Since she is listed under her maiden name, the Home Office doesn’t know who the claimant is. A letter has to be written to the branch manager and, thereby, delay is caused in the issuing of the benefit. We are often surprised to find women, married for years, who still carry the name of their gremlins prefer the late afternoon hours when we start to proofread our typed material. Suddenly, the boys become the victims of strange passions—undoubtedly under the malevolent influence of the gremlins. Horns galore start blowing and they keep blowing with brief intermissions from 3:30 PM until about 4:45 PM. The bedlam is enough to drive anyone crazy. And if anything is lacking to achieve that result, an orchestra will play into a loudspeaker, the idea being that such nerve-wrecking inferno will increase war bond sales. To top it off, we have, here in Pittsburgh, street-cars which run on square wheels. Some gremlins must have inspired, the engineers with the idea that such innovation would benefit the nervous condition of the city’s population. Thus we try to find our typing errors and then, with a sense of frustration, the material is sent to Detroit. Residents and visitors of Detroit know that West Jefferson Avenue is not exactly the quietest spot in the world. And mothers on their membership certificates, as the beneficiaries. More often than not, this is her only insurance. She has left her mother years ago and lives with her husband. It is her husband who provides for her and it is he who will have to pay hospital and funeral expenses if she should die. Obviously, it is the duty of the girl who gets married, to have her name changed on the membership certificate and to designate her husband as the new beneficiary. A FEW SIMPLE RULES A few suggestions are offered to our members which, provided they are adhered to, will facilitate the satisfying of claims and, at the same time, help them realize the true purpose of lifeinsurance. 1. ) Designate as beneficiary the person who is your nearest relative and immediate responsibility. Young men and girls should designate their mothers and, after getting married, their resp. spouses. Widows and widowers should designate their oldest child or the one on whom they can depend, who is of age or near to attaining age. ► 2. ) Hang on to your birthcertificate and your marriage certificate. You will need them or your beneficiary will need them when submitting a claim. 3. ) Apply for a change of the beneficiary on your membership certificate, as soon as you get married or the originally named beneficiary dies. 4. ) If you desire to have an alternate beneficiary who would be entitled to the death-benefit in the event of the prior death of the original beneficiary, then make provision in a form which would read like this: “Mrs. John Doe, nee Anna Smith, wife, if living, or Jack Doe, son.” 5. ) If you have a great deal of insurance and other estate, make a will. Include in your will the provision that all expenses incurred by your eventual sickness and death must be paid first from the estate and then the rest should be divided according to your specifications. Verhovay Journal that’s just what the printers’ gremlins need. And if the editor failed in making some of the mistakes possible, the gremlins succeed in smuggling them into the material when it is set. The results are often amazing, to say the least. Of course, there is nothing unusual about that. The best newspapers and magazines are stuffed with ‘'printers’ errors” nowadays. (Manpower shortages, etc., etc.) It is not our intention to insert “corrections” into the Journal whenever errors are made. Corrections are ugly things, nobody reads them anyway and besides they would be a standing feature which would absorb space needed for other material. Nevertheless, we feel that an explanation is in order because there are many readers who would think Ihat “the editor just doesn’t know better...” Our purpose is to prove that we know better and to ask our readers to make allowances for errors which are unavoidable under the conditions. There is for instance the last, July 25th, issue of the Journal. In the first paragraph of the editorial: “Why doesn’t someone tell us these things?” we find a sentence which reads as follows: “Clippings from such newspaper stories is a help because it gives the story a personal touch.” Any Ir'gh-school student will find the inaccuracies, inconsistencies and the fallacy contained in this sentence. First of all, we talk of clippings in the plural and then we continue in singular by writing '“it gives the story a personal touch.” Naturally, if we speak of clippings then we should say that THEY GIVE. We know that as well as our readers. But there is a fallacy, too, in the sentence. How in the world are newspaper clippings supposed to give a story a personal touch? Truthfully, we don’t know. In fact, we know that they don’t. Well, the secret of this sentence is that half of it was omitted by the printer under the malevolent influence of his particular gremlins. The sentence, as per manuscript, read this way: “Clippings from such newspaper stories are a great help. And naturally, a picture of the soldier is a help because it gives the story a personal touch.” By omitting the words “And naturally, a picture of the soldier is a help” a new sentence resulted which was grammatically as well as logically wrong. So let’s remember, that we asked for pictures, too, because the pictures DO give a personal touch to the story. CUSTOMER: “Do you serve crabs here?” WAITRESS: ’’Sure. Sit down, we serve anyone.” “I left my job because of illness.” “What kind of illness?” “The boss said I made him sick.” “Who are those people who are cheering?” asked the recruit on the train. “Those,” replied the veteran, ‘'are the people who are not going.” NOT ALL STATIC He: “I’ve got an awful lot of electricity in my hair.” She: 'T don’t doubt it. You always have such shocking things on your mind.” Page two, paragraph 2 of the same article has some nice samples of the workings of the gremlins, too. It reads, for instance: “We hope that our fellow-members will kindly forgive us for publishing these data without asking for his permission.” Oh, but we didn’t ask for the forgiveness of our fellow-members at all. We asked for the forgiveness of St. Sgt. Frank Zalanka. Originally, the sentence read this way: ‘ We hope that our fellow-member will forgive us ..By using the singular, we referred to our fellow member Zalanka about whom we wrote in that paragraph. “Just me,” Margaret Stangret, got her share, too, when a sentence in her article appeared in print like this: “There is no EXICTING news from our boys and girls ...” Of course, she wrote “exciting.” However, the grand-prize goes to the mistake appearing in the editorial: “Verhovay assets hit 7th million.” In paragraph 4, of this acticle we find this intriguing statement: “These increases were attained in the course of each full year, RESPECTFULLY!” Now, we are certainly respectfull towards our readers, but that is carrying respect too far. It is in order, therefore, to explain that we are definitely conscious of the difference which exist between the meanings of these two words: “respectfully” and “respectively.” We used the latter word in its abbreviated form in the manuscript and typed: “RESP.” Thus, the increases were not respectfully attained, but “in the course of each full year, RESPECTIVELY.” We could go on but that much should be sufficient to help the readers understand some of the seeming inconsistencies in our articles. And so, if in the future you run up against similar errors, just murmur ‘'Gremlins!” and keep on reading. The meaning and general purpose of the article will be revealed to the readers, anyhow, and though errors don’t serve to adorn an article, they have to be accepted as the result of conditions which cannot be controlled. It always was our editorial policy and purpose to avoid writing misleading sentences the classic example of which was produced by the buyer of a great Midwestern packing-house who, learning that a certain freighttrain would not ship the hogs he purchased on the evening of his planned departure, wired to his wife the following message: “Cannot return yet. Tonight’s train does not ship hogs.” Private Primp reported to the doctor that he couldn’t sleep at night, and the sawbones advised, “Try eating something before hitting the bunk.” “But, Doctor,” remonstrated the patient, “six weeks ago you told me never to eat anything before going to bed.” The doctor shook his head gravely: “My lad, that was six weeks ago. Since thefi science has made wonderful strides.” When Private Primp wrote home to his girl from the Army camp, he proudly displayed his new title, “Pfc.” (Prive first class). When the girl wrote to him and asked what the Pfc. meant, he replied: “It means I got a promotion. Pfc. means Personal Friend of the Captain.” DISADVANTAGES OF NAMING TOO MANY BENEFICIARIES SMILES August 8, 1945 ALBERT J TOTH S.l/C. serves with the Navy somewhere in the Pacific. He is a member of Branch 171, Sharpsville, Pa. RATED CLASS A (Without Benefits) A certain underwriter in one of the home offices fell in love with a young lady and was contemplating marriage. But due to his technical training and caution engendered by his profession, he requested the Retail Credit Company to furnish him with a special report before proposing to her. The report read as fellows: “The young lady has an excellent reputation. Her past is without a blemish. She has a desirable circle of friends. She lives quietly with her parents in a very high grade residential district. “The only breath of scandal that has ever touched her is that lately she has frequently been seen in the company of an insurance underwriter of doubtful repute.” —Equitable Notes Insurance Agent: Now, madam, I take it that you favor a straight life policy? Client: Don’t make it too binding; I like to step out once in a while. MISGUIDED CRITICISM Assistant: “No, madam, we haven’t had any for quite a long time.” Manager (overhearing): ‘'Oh, yes, we have, madam; I will send to the warehouse and, have some brought in for you.” And then aside to the assistant he said: “Never refuse anything; send out for it.” As the lady went out laughing, the manager demanded of the assistant: “What did she say?” Assistant: “She said, ‘We haven’t had any rain lately.’ ” THAT EXPLAINS IT The hard-working gift-shop clerk had vainly ransacked the whole of his shop in his efforts to please an old lady who wanted to purchase a present for her granddaughter. For the fifteenth time she picked up and critically, examined a neat little satchel. “Are you quite sure that this is genuine alligator skin?” she inquired. “'Positive, madam,” quoth the dealer. ”1 shot the alligator myself.” “It looks rather soiled,” said the lady. “That, madam, is where it struck the ground when it fell off the tree.” What became of the hired hand you got from the city? He used to be a chauffeur, and he crawled under a mule to see why it didn’t go.
