Verhovayak Lapja, 1945 (28. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)
1945 / Verhovay Journal
I August 8, 1945 Verhovay Journal Page 3 44 HOW SHALL i ACT, WHEN HE RETURNS?" 0 — Continued — The main aspects of the widely discussed problem of “How to treat veterans?”, are presented in this study. In the last issue the fundamentals of the problem had been stated. It was emphasized that veterans are normal men and that the experiences of war have wrought little change in their personality. Expecting the comparatively. few cases which need medical attention, youth’s normal mental resiliency helps our veterans to overcome the after-effects of their harrowing experiences. Generally speaking, the majority of our young men will return in a healthy state of mind, entirely free from such morbid mental conditions as are feared by some psychiatrists and social experts. Therefore, veterans need not be treated in any specific way. They should be received naturally, joyfully and, if you please, tearfully. The discussion is continued with the "tudy of some aspects of this probléma which do not lend themselves to generalization and have to be dealt with according to the personality of the individual concerned. It will be seen, however, that even in such specific cases the general rule holds, the difference being only one of the method used in its application. VARIETY OF TYPES PROHIBITS GENERALIZATION. At the same time it is wrong to generalize when forming opinions as to the effects of war. Throughout the preceding parts of this article we wrote about the MAJORITY of our soldiers. We contend that the experiences of war will not change them. This contention may be comfort to some and discomfort to others, because it should be kept in mind that the members of the armed forces are not individuals of the same type. Some where stubborn, unreasonable and disagreeable in civilian life. Others were kind, sympathetic, patient and ready to cooperate. Some were lazy, others industrious. Some were emotional; others cold. One type should be mentioned here as an example. THE “GIMME-BOYS”. There is fear in many quarters of the boys who will return with the attitude that the nation owes them a living and all comfort in return for the sacrifices they were called upon to make. We had opportunity to read letters from some men who belong to this class. They actually “threaten” to “take over” after this war is over and to show the people how things are to be run — for their benefit of course. It is wrong to attribute the development of this attitude to the effects of the war. Most of the men of this type had the same way of thinking before they were inducted. They always tried to find the easy way out of responsibilities. They always chose the most comfortable and soft jobs, letting their families worry over the bills and other obligations. They always felt that the World owqd a living to all who were born into this world. However, they could never justify their claims. All they could do, was to do their job sullenly, feeling that they were imposed upon by those for whom they were responsible. Their attitude underwent a change during the war insofar that they suddenly found themselves in position to justify their laziness and lack of responsibility. Pointing at the sacrifices they had to make they find a moral basis for their claims and they will return äs champions of the rights of the irresponsible. The fact is that, as soldiers, they displayed the same attitude as was theirs during civilian life. MEN REMAIN MEN. The “gifnme-boys” are certainly a minority in our armed forces. Their childish attitude only helps to accentuate the manliness of those soldiers who, upon returning home, are glad to have a chance to shift for themselves. Thése men were loyal, industrious and ambitious in civilian life. As soldiers they were just as cooperative, loyal and dependable as they were before the war and, upon returning to normal life, they \Vill continue as real men. Their character will have been strengthened in fire and their experiences will make them more appreciative of the things to which they return. It is unnecessary for us to answer the claims of the “gimme-boys”; for the soldiers who proved their manliness on the front, refute them by their attitude. And while the real men should be received with all the appreciation and admiration that is due to them, the “gimmeboys” must be treated according to their own merits. We admire Our soldiers and we are grateful to them for their glorious services. But the fact that a man is inducted does not make him a sai«:t nor does it give him a blankcheck for irresponsibility. The great heroes of this war invariably try to avoid publicity. They give credit to their comrades. In fact, they are glad that they had a part in achieving victory. They are happy for being back. And that is sufficient for them. Why? WHAT DO THEY RETURN TO? First of all, most members of our armed forces realize that they return to a country which realizes the principle of individual freedom to a greater extent than any other country in the world. Second, they know that they return to a country which still offers them greater opportunities than any other country in the world. Third, they appreciate the fact that no other nation has made more generous provisions for the future of its veterans than the bnited States of America. Fourth, they are thankful that at long last they may again work for their loved ones under peaceful conditions instead of fighting in foxholes. Fifth, they are conscious of the duties every free man owes his country. And no one owes more to his country than a citizen of the United States of America. It is wrong to approach this problem by thinking only of what the nation owes its soldiers. Indeed, we owe a lot to our soldiers but let us k'.ep in mind, country, are first indebted to our nation. By serving our country we are discharging our duty and repaying our debt. What the nations owes its soldiers is only the balance of this debt which cannot be figured in dollars or social security. The majority of our soldiers realize these truths and therefore, they don’t represent a problem. The “problem-child” will come from the minority only. But the “problem-children” of the war already were “problemchildren” before the war. It isn’t the war that has changed them. PEOPLE SELDOM CHANGE. People seldom change. In most instances they develop along the lines of their inherent tendencies. Tragedies, great shocks hasten the development of their natural character many traits of which remain hidden from the casual observer. Therefore, when again meeting a man who, in the meantime “went through much”, he thinks that he changed. But he didn’t change. He only developed. And for that reason, we shouldn’t Change bur attitude when welcoming our veterans. They don’t need to be “treated” against the aftereffects of wartime experiences. Their own resilient nature will take care of that. By patronizing them we can only estrange them. For it is the veteran who will think that his folks changed when he finds that they “act” and “treat” him differently from the way he knew them before he went overseas. HANDICAPPED MEN. The men who lost their health, hearing, sight ■ or limbs in the war, naturally represent a different aspect of this problem. Advisers of the public emphasize that they should be treated naturally. They shouldn’t be fussed over. They shouldn’t be patronized either. The other day we read a moving little story of a soldier and his bride. He lost a leg and did not have the full use of his arms either. The two of them where walking along the street. The bride was careful not to help him, she even let him carry his package. But here, too, it is wrong to generalize. Some men prefer to be left alone. Others hunger for sympathy. One man may resent being helped across the street, the other may feel hurt when no one pays any attention to npredicament. Sómé men, when sick, hide in their room, and refuse to accept any assistance. Others want to be nursed and entertained. There is no general rule as to how to treat invalids. Their families know how they acted before the war and it is suggested that they approach their handicap in the same way. If he used to seek privacy when something ailed him, leave him alone to cope with his problem. That will help him. But if he used to crave for assistance, give it to him by all means, for in his case that will be the only way to help him to adjust himself. TALKING ABOUT THE WAR. Parents, wives and friends are anxious to hear the veterans’ stories about their experiences. The generally accepted rule in this case, too, is: “Don’t do it! Don’t try to make him talk. He wants to forget.”’ This is another of those harmful generalizations. It is true: there are many men whb will prefer to keep quiet. They don’t want to re-live their horrible experiences. They want to forget and according to their temperament they find it easier to forget by not talking about the dangers and horrors they have seen. But men aren’t all alike. There are many who find relief in talking. They pour out their stories. If they wouldn’t, the memories of the suppressed past would be a load on their minds. No soldier can rightfully resent the interest his loved ones have for his experiences. But if he doesn’t want to talk about them, it will be apparent immediately and then it is just a matter of good manners not to insist. THE KEY OF THE PROBLEM. It is apparent from what had been written on this subject, that the key tomthe problem lies in the personality of the soldier as it is remembered from pre-war times by those who await his return. Fundamentally he will be the same man and the change, if any, will be in line of his natural tendencies. Therefore, no problem should be made out of the question as to how to act and how to treat him when he returns. Respect is due to him like to anyone who has gone through harrowing experiences. Admiration is due to every soldier who contributed to the victories achieved by our armed forces. On the other hand he should not be submitted to the humiliation of being pitied or coddled. Perhaps, the shortest way of putting it, is this: love him with all the understanding of your heart and with all the frankness of your soul. You can’t go wrong. AMBITION AND TALENT DESERVE SUPPORT! A REQUEST TO OUR BRANCH AND FELLOW-MEMBERS IN BEHALF OF JOSEPH K. BALOGH, MANAGER OF BRANCH 506, DONORA, PA. !T~ The Verhovay always had a heart for its young people. There are a great number of professional men who were assisted by loans from the Association in their pursuance of higher education. Ambitious and talented young fellow-members have always received the wholehearted support of their fraternal organization. Fellow-member - Joseph K. Balogh, B. S. Litt. M., is one of the outstanding personalities of our second generation membership. He deserves our respect and support especially because he is also the manager of Branch 506, Donora, Pa. Joseph K. Balogh is well known in the churches and societies of Pittsburgh and vicinity. Throughout his school years he participated in their activities. After successfully passing his examinations, he became a teacher and taught in various schools. Then he returned to the University of Pittsburgh and is now working for his “Doctor of Philosophy” degree. He majors in sdcial sciences. His father was, a working-man, like most of the immigrant Hungarians. There were five that we, the citizens of this great children in the family, enough to discourage any dreams that one of them may have cherished about attaining a higher education. But manager Balogh isn’t easily discouraged as is proven by the degrees already attained by him. Even for a descendant of an immigrant, he has unusual interest in everything that concerns Hungarians, particularly American Hungarians. And that’s why he decided to write his Ph. D. thésis on the American Hungarian cultural societies operating in Allegheny county, analyzing their activities from the viewpoint of social sciences. The systematic treatment of this subject has never been attempted before and we feel that Mr. Balogh is making a great contribution to American Hungarian life by compiling the material for a thesis on this unique subject. Mr. Balogh is spending a great deal of time, energy and money on his task. He is free with his time and he never knew how to spare his energy, but money always represented a great obstacle to the realization of his ambitions which he overcame only by working hard and by denying himself things that other young men feel free to enjoy. This time, however, he needs assistance and where else should he have gone first, requesting aid but to the fraternal Assopiation which, he had served loyally in the capacity of branch-manager? He came to the Home Office and explained the situation. The preparations for the submitting of the thesis involve expenses amounting to a hundred dollars. He has no way of securing this amount Unless the Verhovay is willing to lend him a helping hand. Well, the Verhovay is willing to do so. Being convinced that this cause is a worthy one and that Manager Balogh deserves the wholehearted support of the Verhovay, the Home Office was the first to pitch in with S25.00. And now we request our fellowmembers and branches to follow suit. Wq» trust that our American branches, consisting mostly of second generation members, will prove their understanding of fraternalism by giving a lift to this fello w-second-generationmanager of ours. Kindly send your gifts to the following address: Mr. Joseph Balogh B. D., Litt. M., 254 North Bellefield Ave., Pittsburgh (13) Pa. THE HOME OFFICE. I
