Verhovayak Lapja, 1945 (28. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)
1945 / Verhovay Journal
Page 8 .......— ■ " ----- 1 --------- ‘ There Are Two Ways To Skin A Cat Verhovay Journal (Continued from Page 7) | will never get you far. Diplomacy must be sincere: it is a fine mixture of truthfulness and tact. A 13IT OF PSYCHOLOGY. Why is it that blunt outspokenness does not get the desired results which are easily achieved by the use of diplomacy? It is a simple matter of mental reactions which are very similar to bodily reactions. The harder the slap the stronger the comeback. Criticize mercilessly and the person criticized instantly will assume a defensive attitude. If we want a person to follow our advise we have first to get that person to agree with us. Paying a compliment for things done, well, will. . get that individual into an agreeable state pf mind. In a way, it will forestall the developing of a defensive attitude. Once the individual agrees with you and a pleasant' atmosphere ensues, you can carefully and tactfully, but in every case naturally, approach the subject on which you disagree. Since the person you talk with, is in agreeable state of mind, you’ll have every chance of succeeding with your task. Though the Good Book teaches us otherwise, the natural human reactions 'work on the “eye for eye” principle. Slap a person and he’ll slap (:>ack and in most instances the reaction will be stronger than the action which called for it. IT’S EASY TO BE BLUNT. People who pride themselves of being outspoken, believe that it is a sign of a courageous and strong character. But nothing is farther from the truth. The blunt person is a weak character, rather than a strong one. He can’t resist his temper, he doesn’t have himself well in hand and his tongue always runs way ahead of his mind, Tact is the result of self discipline plus a normal knowledge- of human beings and the workings of the human mind. It is attained by exercising selfcontrol and by dedicating a little time to the study of how other people’s minds work. The outspoken person is too impatient to learn anything about others and he has no self-discipline at all. Nothing proves better the truth of these contentions than the undeniable fact that it is the outspoken person who is the least able to take blunt criticism fr5m others. No one is more touchy than the outspoken individual. It shows that he is emotionally unbalanced and mentally undeveloped. He is the last person to criticise others. W' APHORISMS. Outspokenness is the barricade of the tactless. Bluntness is the diploma of the unexperienced. The outspoken person constantly looks into a magnifying mirror which reflects a giant to the dwarf admiring himself. Outspokenness is mental cruelty. It is the sadistic pleasure of the heartless who have no appreciation for other people’s values and no understanding of human weaknesses. God knows everything but the outspoken person knows it better — so he thinks. There is no perfect human being, except the outspoken individual — or so he believes. Diplomacy when used truthfully and for the sake of truth, is pure consideration. It is the diploma of emotional and mental balancedness. The tactful person is the one who practices the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would want others do to you.” The tactful create happiness, the tactless spread despair. The tactful encourage others to do their best and to develop their abilities, the tactless discourage and destroy even that which is good in others. The tactful person, in other words, the diplomat, knows himself while the tactless individual never takes the trouble to study himself. By knowing himself, the tactful person learns to know others and understands their acts and motives. We condemn others only because we don’t understand them. If we take the trouble to find out about the circumstances that led them to their acts, we would find them much better people than we originally supposed them to be. Criticism of acts without knowing of their real motives is practised by minds too lazy to go after the truth. And, yet, it is they who insist to be fighting, for the truth. FRATERNALISTS ARE TACTCFUL PEOPLE Lack of diplomacy is the cause of most quarrels, disagreements and misunderstandings in our fraternal life. It is as easy for a member to tell off the branchmanager as it is for the latter to do so with the member. Naturally, nothing is achieved. The branch-manager gets disgusted if treated tactlessly and will render poorer service. The member gets disgusted for the same reason and lapses or cashsurrenders his membership certificate. Lack of diplomacy is the cause for many losses of prospects. A tactless approach can ruin the best chance for a new application. Lack of tact and diplomacy can turn a peaceful branch-meeting into a bull-fight. Nothing can be achieved at such a meeting. The greatest part of the members attending a quarrelsome meeting will vow never again to attend another one. A tactless person will never get along in his job, nor in his family and least of all in his society. He is a public menace and the killer of many a noble undertaking. Many a good cause was lost because it was -championed by the wrong people. The idea may be the noblest one ever born in human minds, yet, it will never be accepted by the majority if the one presenting the idea tries to ram it down their throats. Well meant criticism can be dished out on a golden-platter and it, will be accepted by the persons involved. But the outspoken criticism of the undisciplined mind connot do anything but damage. Let’s keep all this in our minds when attending a branch meeting, the district convention, or the general Convention. What we need is not bulls in a chinastore but tactful people who handle carefully, considerately and lovingly the fine china-ware This column is dedicated to considerate people; like the woman who shot her husband with a bow and arrow so she wouldn’t wake the children. He (on the telephone): Hello dear. How about us having dinner together this evening?” She: “I would love it.” He: “Well, tell your mother I’ll be over about seven o’clock.” “Old Doc Curem has given his young wife two days to live.” “Is that so?” “Yeah, he went out of town for a couple of days.” One Siamese twin to another: “You must have had a swell time last night, I look like a wreck today.” Girl (to boy friend reading to her from a book): “Didn’t you skip something between, ‘he took her in his arms’ and, ‘the morning cast a rosy glow’?” And then of course, there was the optician’s daughter. Two glasses and she made a spectacle of herself. He: “I’d go through fire for you.” She: “What a silly ash you’d be. “At any rate,” said the auctioneer, “mine is a business that a woman can’t take up.” “Nonsense,” put in the strongminded lady. “A woman would make quite as good an auctioneer as any man.” “Well, you try and imagine an unmarried lady standing up before a crowd and saying. ‘Now gentlemen,/ all I want is an offer’.” of human souls of which our brotherhood consists. All this has only one secret: that of a respect for our fellowmen. Give everyone the respect due to him and you’ll get respect in return. Approach others respectfully and they’ll listen to you respectfully. It is entirely up to you whether you get a vote of confidence or a kick in the pants. For there is no greater power on earth than the kindly smile and there is no argument as convincing as an understanding attitude displayed towards the opposition. No greater proof has ever been offered for these truths than the present war of which only one conclusion can be drawn: he who starts a fight, will end up with defeat. Indeed, there are two ways to skin a cat . . .but it is obvious that only one is successful. Try it and see! And then there was the attorney who sat up all night trying to break a widow’s will. “JSTot all babies wake up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.” Jane: “They say a kiss shortens one’s life three minutes.” Gob: “How about killing off a few days, babe?” Some men reform; others just grow too old to act up. A rude and vulgar man is one who stares at a girl’s figure when she’s doing her best to display it. Smith: “Fighting is all right providing you do it intelligently.” Jones: Yes, but you can’t always find a smaller opponent.” * * * “What kind of sailors are they?” asked Saint Peter. “American,” replied the gatekeeper. , “Oh, let ’em in,” said St. Peter, “they’ll want a transfer in six months anyhow.” * * * RADIO-ANNOUNCEMENT. “Due to the urgency of tonight’s commercial our sponsor has kindly consented to omit the news broadcast!” * • * First Freshman: “I hear you got thrown out of school for calling the dean a fish.” Second Frosh: “I didn’t call him a fish, I just said, ‘That’s our dean,’ real fast.” * * * The Archbishop had preached a fine sermon on married life and its beauties. Two old Irishmen were heard coming out of church commenting on the address. “Tis a fine sermon his Riverence would be after giving us,” said one. “It is indade,” was the quick reply, “and I wish I knew as little about the matter as he does.” July 11. 1945 Operator: “Your order please.’ Guest: “Hello, do you have A.C. or D.C. current here?” Operator: “Beg your pardon sir.” Guest: “I said, do you hav< A.C. or D.C. current here?” Operator: “One moment, sir.” (After a moment or two, th< operator returned to the phone. Operator: “Hello, sir.” Guest: “Yes.” Operator: “I am sorry, sir, bu we don’t have a Mr. Curren registered here at all, neithe A.C. or D.C.!” * * * *Joé—“Those auto engineers an certainly geniuses at makin; driving easier.” John—-“How’s that?” Joe—“1940, no running boards 1942, no gear shift; since 194 —no car.” * * # Charles failed on examinatioi in all five subjects. He wired hi mother: “Failted everything Prepare Dad.” His mother wired back: “Da' prepared. Prepare yourself.” * * * A MAIDEN’S LAMENT 1942— What a man! 1943— What! A man?' 1944— What’s a man? * * * “Jimmy, I wish you’d lean better table manners. You’r a regular little pig at the table. Deep silence on Jimmy’s pari So father, in order to impres him more, added: “I say, Jirr do yon know what a pig is?” | “Yes, dad,” replied Jimm; meekly. “It’s a hog’s little boy. * * * Remember that your wife stíl enjoys candy and flowers. Le her know that you rememberspeak of them occasionally. * * * The following correction ap pered in a small town newspaper “Our paper carried a notic last week that Mr. John Doe is - defective on the police force This was a typographical error Mr. Doe is really a detectiv on the police farce.” TO THE CONTRIBUTORS The next issue of the Journal will be published on Wednesday, July 25. Contributions for that issue should be in not later Ilian July 18, Wednesday. Contributions should be typevritten. on one side of the naper only, double-spaced, and -iot exceed 1200 words, oi- 6,000 letters. Address contributions to VERHOVAY JOURNAL, ENGLISH SECTION, 345 Fourth Ave., Pittsburgh 22, Pa. PERIODICALS TO NAVY OVERSEAS MUST BE REQUESTEI Postmaster Roscoe B. Huston announces the receipt of informa lion that effective Ju’y 1, 1945, newspapers and magazines directei to the personnel of the Navy, Marine Corps or Coast Guard over seas may only be accepted when mailed by the publisher and onl; in fulfillment of written requests initiated by the addressee. Relatives and friends may pay for subscriptions or renewal: of subscriptions providing the addressees have made request therefor. Solicitation of requests and the mailing of complimentar; copies by the publishers or copies paid for by advertisers is prohibited Publishers mailing requested copies must in accordance wit! the foregoing include with the address a certificate reading “Mailet in conformity with P.O.D. Order No. 27851,” and they shall b< required upon request to present to the Post Office for examina iicn requests initiated by the addressee for subscriptions or re newals of subscriptions. Such matter, however, may be accepted up to five pounds it weight, 15 inches in length and 36 incites in combined length anc girth without request if sent at the first class rate. The foregoing has been prompted in order to conserve shippinj space and prevent non-essential mailings.
