Verhovayak Lapja, 1945 (28. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)

1945 / Verhovay Journal

VOL. XXVIII.

FEBRUAKY 28, 1945

31

No. 4

SYMPATHY

A WORLD IN TEARS

Never has there been more misery, sadness and heartbreak in the world than now. Two continents are ablaze and the earthly possessions of millions have vanished in the flames. Even more tragic than the destruction of possessions is the appalling loss of lives ... by and by we come to the point where there may not be a single family in the world which has not lost at least one of its members in this greatest holocaust of human history. y

As far as possessions are concerned, America has been spared the ravages of war, but in the loss of lives our nation has its equal share.'We of the Verhovay alone have suffered the loss of more than 130 of our young men and that means heartbreak to all the members of much more than 130 families. Considering only the next of kin, the closest relatives and the best friends, we may say that the death of these 130 young men has brought deep sorrow to more than a thousand people and a shock and sadness to many more. And we are just-a part of the nation the rest of which suffers the same agony caused by similar' losses.

Yet, the mourning for our heroic dead is just a part of the ever spreading sadness caused by the war. Hundreds are reported missing, thousands are reported wounded every day, and every report of this kind brings anxiety to the families who receive these reports and their anxiety is often just as painful as the sadness of those who have lost their loved ones.

Ours is an age of sorrow.

Ours is a world in tears.

SYMPATHY NEEDED.

Just as much as our soldiers need blood-plasma, guns and bullets and, last but not least, letters from home and moral support, the families at home, afflicted by the sorrows of war, need the sympathy of their fellowmen.

Here is a challenge to all fraternalists, for it is up to us who profess brotherly love to exercise it and to render moral support and comfort to all who have been called upon to bear the burden of anxiety, sorrow and mourning.

Sympathy is the ability to “feel with others”, to feel what they feel and, thereby, “share” their feeling, A sympathetic member of the fraternal organization will rejoice with the fellow-member who had just learned that his missing son has been found. He may not be related to him in any way and he does not mean more to him than any other fellow-member. But the consciousness of being fraternalists, creates a new bond between all the members, brings them into a “brotherly” relationship in which every thing is of interest that happens to the fellow-members.

AND UNDERSTANDING

To be glad with the gladdened and to be sad with the saddened is the result of such partnership, created by fraternalism, and it means a world to both, the one who is sympathized with and. the one who offers sympathy. For by being able to rejőice in the good fortune of his fellow-member, the sympathizer opens up a new source of happiness in addition to those he may find in his own fife. When you meet one who has received good news and shake hands with him and laugh with him, you feel better and happier yourself for in his good fortune you have found a new reason to be glad. One who cannot share the joys of others deprives himself of much happiness for the only source of happiness he has is in the few good things that happen to him.

The same goes for the opposite emotion: sadness and sorrow. A sympathetic fellowmember is able to share the sorrows of his fellow-members. He puts himself into their place, imagines what they must feel and how he would feel in a similar situation, — and as a result he will weep with the weeping and sorrow with the mourning. That again will serve to enrich his life. For lasting friendships are attained by true • sympathy. No one can ever forget those who have stood by him in the days of sadness and sheared their pain with him. But there is even another benefit to be derived from sharing other people’s sorrows: one forgets his own sadness by listening to the plight of others and finds comfort for his own sorrow by comforting others. A curious interplay of psychological factors is involved in this . . . for nothing strengthens us more in the hour of weakness than an act by which we strengthen others. Nothing is more comforting than softly murmuring comforting words of sympathy to others. Nothing

helps one more to get over his own troubles than helping others to get over theirs.

It goes without saying that the ones . sympathized with do gain a great deal also by the

sympathy extended towards

them. Human companionship, considerate and gentle fellowship is the only thing that tides us over soul-shocking experiences of great losses.

No one ever needs companionship more than in the long months of anxiety and the endless times of mourning. It is the only thing that keeps him going for even a person who has the greatest faith in the goodness of God, in the resurrection and everlasting life, will want to cling to some human being during the time when the shock of sad news affects him with full force.

It is cruel to leave sad people alone, and often the same people who are shocked to see an overrun dog lying in pains on the roadside, nonchalantly walk away

from people whose heart has been broken . . .

1

THE ART OF UNDERSTANDING.

I

Sympathy must be supplemented by understanding. It is not enough to sympathize with the sorrowing, we must also understand their needs.

Sympathy without understanding often has the contrary effect, it does not lift up but dejects those in need of sympathy. A complete lack of understanding of the need of the sorrowing is displayed by many a person who otherwise has a great deal of sympathy. For instance: neighbors, relatives and fellowmembers will visit a mourning mother or a sorrowing wife and will make superhuman efforts to lead away the conversation from the topic that has caused her sorrow. “Don’t think about it!” — they say and start talking about trivial affairs, ways of cooking a dish; they will even go so far as to joke a little bit for “laughing will do her good.”

This is nothing but a cruel attempt to suppress the natural urge of the mourning person to reminisce, to recall little happy incidents, to tell in detail how the tragedy happened and how it affected her. Such attempts are just like trying to cure a cough by choking the patient . . .

They will say, good naturedly, “dont cry, please don’t cry, you must resign yourself to the inevitable . . .”, when the sorrowing person doesn’t need anything more than a chance to cry with someone just holding her hand and stroking it gently.

Why are people so afraid of such outbreaks of emotionalism? Possibly because their sympathy isn’t deep enough . . . they feel they have done their duty by expressing their sympathy and want to get away from the subject as soon as possible under the pretext that it is “better for her.” But it isn’t better. Emotions will out or they cause a breakdown if repressed.

The Bible tells the story of Job, the good man who lost everything. His three friends visited him and sat with him for three days without saying a word. We don’t think that a more effective way of sympathizing has been invented since.

An understanding sympathizer will put his arm around the mourning mother or wife and tell her gently: “Go on and cry . .

He will listen to HER story instead of trying to lead her away from it by telling about his or her rheumatism or last operation. There is unforgivable cruelty in superimposing one’s little pains to the other’s great sorrow. Those standing under the shadow of death deserve deep and sincere respect and that respect should be given to their sorrow, too.

Give the sorrowing a chance i

(Continued on Page 2)

YOUR RED CROSS — AT HIS SIDE

This year’s Red Cross War Fund campaign opens on the 1st of March. Because of mounting demands the War Fund goal has been raised to §200,000,000 this year.

Campaign chairman Basil O’Connor, in opening the campaign, pointed out that the need for Red Cross services in the coming year will be greater than ever before. He said: “American men have been fighting throughout the world for a long time. This year they will need all the moral support we can give them.”

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With every day this war is moving closer to each of us. There is probab'y not a member of this organization who does not have someone near and dear who is close to danger, someone for whom no personal sacrifice would be too great—if we were there to make it.

That’s the difficulty, though. We here at home—no matter how much we contribute on the production line—cannot lend physical assistance when a loved one is in danger or longing for a touch of home while crouched in a distant foxhole.

We can, however, do more than merely wish we were there at his side because the American Red Cross has been named our proxy. By the authority of its Congressional charter and at the express orders of the War and Navy Departments, the Red Cross accompanies our fighting sons and daughters into every combat area at all times. It is the only civilian agency permitted to do this.

For us, the American Red Cross can offer the welcome relaxation of homelike. surroundings in leave area clubs—727 of them— in every war theater.

For us, the Red Cress can relieve the boredom of inaction at dismal outposts through the visits of a rolling clubmohile or of a mobile entertainment unit.

For us, also, the Red Cross can make certain that surgical dressings, made in Production Units here at home, and plasma, contributed at Red Cross Centers here, will be available at the battle front for use by skilled nurses 'recruited by the Red Cross.

And on the home front, the Red Cross can make available in times of stress financial and informational aid for the families of service men, discharged veterans and battle casualties.

For the next of kin of prisoners of war, the Red Cross provides the link with dear ones penned in by the enemy and fighting the boredom of inaction and despair.

To do all these things and to serve as our proxy on the war and home front, the American Red Cross needs money §200,000,000 in 1945. Only by giving more than before, only by making a real sacrifice, can we be sure that the Red Cross will be available to serve as our proxy when someone close to us is in danger.

True to the spirit of fraternalism, Farrar Newberry, President of the National Fraternal Congress, issued a call to all fraternal organizations to participate in this campaign with an all-out effort.

STATEMENT OF PRESIDENT FARRAR NEWBERRY

Greatest of all ministers of mercy in peace-time, the American Red Cross appeals to us with particular force in periods of war. It is not surprising therefore, that member societies of the National Fraternal Congress of America, themselves dedicated to the tremendously important work of putting fraternity into action, should support it with as complete enthusiasm as they buy wrar bonds, co-operate with the Office of Civilan Defense and give blood to plasma banks. In times like the present all of such activities are in the same category.

This war must and will be completely won because our citizens, through taxation and the purchase of government securities, are furnishing the sinews of war for our forces in the field. Contributions out of our societies' treasuries and the general fund of our one hundred thousand local lodges, will make sure that the comforts afforded by this great institution, the Red Cross, wäll be available to the maimed and wounded who are daily offering to make the supreme sacrifice in order that the freedoms we cherish may be permanent throughout the world.

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There is little we can add to the foregoing. The Red Cross is the action-on-the-front of fraternalism. No member of a fra« ternal organization will attempt to avoid the challenge of this campaign. In fact, since both, the Red Cross and the fraternal organizations are dedicated to the realization of the same principle of brotherly love, fraternalists will be the foremost promoters of this campaign contributing the most towards its success.

We appeal to all branch-officers to make the Red Cross War Fund campaign a part of the order of the day for the next meeting of their branches. Branches are urged to make contributions from their own funds as well as to participate in the local drive. At the same time, branch-managers are requested to report to the Home Office all contributions made f.or the Red Cress War Fund during this campaign. Donations of individual members should also be listed in order that proper credit may be gained for the membership of the Verhovay F. I. Ass’n. for its part in the Red Cross War Fund campaign of 1945.