Verhovayak Lapja, 1945 (28. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)
1945 / Verhovay Journal
4 Page 6 Verhovay Journal January 10, 1945 A TESTIMONIAL BANQUET .— A short story about the truth behind the truth. — Lodge No. 666 of the S. S. S. (Sunday Sleepers’ Society) decided that it was time to wake up to do something. The six members attending the monthly meeting agreed with the speaker when he stated: “We have five hundred members, yet since we won’t do anything nobody notices us. We should do something in order to let the people know that we still exist. Besides, the lodge’s treasury is low and it is high time that we do something about it.” The six members nodded in unison and then lapsed into deep and silent thinking. Finally one arose and addressed the chairman: “Mr. Chairman — he said — I believe I have found the solution. I just remembered and I hope all do remember that you have served our lodge for thirty years in the capacity of a president. I believe that we should arrange a testimonial banquet in your honor to commemorate this event.” The members applauded. It ■wasn’t a very explosive applause and it didn’t exactly shake the windows, but after all, six members cannot make much noise. Nevertheless, they agreed. However, the President arose sadly: “Fellow-members, I must ask you to leave me out. I was glad to serve the lodge for 30 years, in fact it will be thirtyttvo next week, but I don’t want any celebration at all. I hate to stand before the public and I intensely dislike public honors, and for that reason I implore you to drop this plan.” The six listened with disappointment. Finally one who Was endowed with the ability to get around other peoples’ arguments got up: “Mr. President, you cannot refuse to accept the honor that is duly coming to you. You have done great things for this lodge in these past thirty, pardon me, thirty-two years. You have been instrumental in the growth of this lodge. When you were first elected, our lodge didn’t have more than a score of members. And look at the lodge now. Five hundred members. . . ” “Five hundred thirty-seven . ..” ■— interrupted the President wearily. “Five hundred thirty-seven members want to express their appreciation of your loyal services. Besides the treasury of the lodge is very low. This would be a wonderful opportunity to boost it. Would you, who have done so much for the advencement of this branch, refuse to let us use such an occasion which would greately benefit the branch?” He certainly had him cornered. Sadly the President looked at the speaker. Somehow you could read the question in his expression: “Well, if you people want to honor me, what will I get out of it? I can see very well that you want to use me as a bait to get some money ... a fine honor, I must say . . But the other five couldn’t see it that way. Again they applauded, with enthusiasm that was as loud as five men could make it. “Mr. President — they pleaded — please accept the honor, you deserve it, and, besides, the treasury is low . . .” Back and forth waged the battle of words until one hit upon the brilliant idea to apply democracy. “Let us vote — he said — and let the majority decide.” “Question, question!” — yelled the other four and the President rose sadly and asked for the vote . . . It was unanimous, since he could not vote. All the other five members present voted that a testimonial banquet be held on the 25th of February, in the Hall of the Grand Owl, at 7 PM. ' PREPARING THE DETAILS. “Now that this has been settled, let us decide on the menu” — moved one and the others, agreeing, said: “I move <that we should serve a chicken-paprikas.” “I don’t like chicken-paprikas — said another angrily, — and if you decide on chicken-paprikas I will', not attend the banquet.” “How about veal stew? — said the third — that won’t cost very much.” “Who wants veal stew on a banquet” — said the fourth disparagingly. Again the battle was on while the clock moved forward. Half of the afternoon was gone already. But the men persisted. Finally the President arose: “Look here, men — he said — it is customary that stuffed roast chicken be served at a banquet of this kind. You don’t want the people to say that we didn’t serve the right dinner, do you?” Smiling, the secretary got up: “Since our esteemed president wants roast chicken, I move that roast chicken be served.” •“Excuse me — interrupted the President reddening — I did not say that I want the roast chicken. In fact, I don’t like it. I was only suggesting something of which we know by experience that the majority likes it.” The third fellow arose and said: “Nevertheless I feel that we should agree to our Presiderft’s wish and só I second the motion of the secretary.” The President gave up and the motion was carried. “I suggest — moved one of the six — that we publish a booklet on this occasion and solicit advertisements. That should certainly increase the profits of the occasion.” “I agree — said the treasurer — and I also suggest that we send a letter to each lodge of our Society requesting them to insert an ad in the booklet. I am sure that they cannot refuse that little favor and thereby the success of the booklet will be assured.” The motion was carried, and the meeting was adjourned. PUBLICITY. Naturally, the affair needed publicity. And"' so in the next week’s issue of “Boredville Herald” appeared the following notice: “Lodge 666 of the S. S. S. unanimously decided at its last monthly meeting, attended by a vast majority of the membership, to honor the president of the lodge on the ocasssion of his 30th anniversary as president of the Lodge by arranging a testimonial dinner to be held on February 25th in the Hall of the Grand Owl at 7 PM. All members and all friends of the Lodge are cordially invited. Roast chicken, home-made cakes will be served. Refreshments will be plentiful. Admission $1.50 per person.” Invitation and tickets were printed and sent out to the members, to the organizations in Borédville and to all the Lodges of the Sunday Sleepers’ Society. HOW ABOUT AN AD, MISTER? The Secretary entered the grocery and greeted the owner. “What can I do for you?” — asked the grocer. “Lodge 666 of the S. S. S. is going to have a testimonial dinner in honor of President Pincher, on occasion of the thirtieth anniversary of his presidency. You probably read about it in the paper . . .” The grocer shook his head. “Sorry, I never read the lodgenews.” “I see — said the secretary undaunted — well, anyhow, we are publishing a booklet in his honor and I am soliciting ads. How about an ad, Mister?” “Look here, my good man — replied the grocer — I could just as well give away my store if I wanted to give an ad to évery booklet that is published in this town in honor of something or other . . .” “But this helps you to create goodwill” — interrupted the secretary wiht admirable optimism. “It may create goodwill — said the other with sarcasm — but it may also get me into the poor-house and what good will it do me then?” “But look here, my dear sir —* attacked the secretary — Mr. Piricher is your regular customer . . .” “By golly, he is — said the grocer with growing excitement — and I am sorry he is. Do you »know that that man has been buying food from me during the depression to the tune of six hundred dollars and never paid for it? Yes, he buys now and pays I admit that, but I will never get back what I lost on him . . .” “My, my — came the amazed answer of the secretary — I didn’t know that . . .” (hm, he thaught, will my wife be happy when she hears that story!) but he continued: “That much more reason you have for giving us an ad. For if he sees your good will, he may actually start To' pay you his debt.” “Oh. stop it — sighed the grocer — give me the smallest ad you have. Here is a dollar ...” . “Sorry — said the secretary pocketing the dollar — but the smallest ad is one-fifty.” The grocer gave him the dirtiest look he had in store, threw the fifty cents before him and slammed the cash-register with such anger that the poor thing gave out five sharp rings in succession before it settled down again. “Thank you for your generosity” — said the secretary with his sunniest smile and departed. Once on the street, his face got red. “The dirty crook — he mumbled — poor-house indeed! He owns a row of houses in this block, all taken away from people who had to eat and could not pay, and now he raises such a stink for his miserable dollarfifty!” He stopped at the barber’s. “How about an ad, Mister, for our book? . . .” “I know, I know, Mr. Secretary — replied the barber smiling boy, what a nice fellow! — read all about it in the Herald. Be glad to accomodate you. How much is an ad?” “Well — the spirits of the secretary certainly got a lift here — it depends, five dollars, three dollars . . .” “Give me an ad for three dollars!” — said the barber generously and took out his wallet and paid. • “Thank you, thank you!” — said the surprised secretary moved to tears — “That is certainly nice of you.” “Think nothing of it, my boy — said the barber — you are wel come. Always thought highly of Pincher. Steady customer.” The secretary could hardly believe so much friendliness. He shook hands with the barber who suddenly exclaimed: “Wait a moment, my friend!” — He picked up a booklet from the stand and held it before the unprepared secretary. — ' “How about buying a raffle ticket for an automomile? It is for the police welfare fund. Very cheap and an excellent chance. And besides, it is for the police, you know . . .” “Sure, sure-said the secretary — I take one.” “Fine! — exclaimed the barber, — I write it out for you!” In a moment he was ready and handed him the stub. “How much is it?” — asked the secretary. “It’s on it” — replied the barber nonchalantly but added: “Three dollars.” The secretary’s heart missed a beat and a sudden anger choked him. But the barber looked at him with the smile of the innocent and held out his hand for the money. The secretary was a very sad man when he left the shop. FRATERNAILSM ON THE MARCH! The monthly meeting of Lodge 333 of the S: S. S. S. fraternal association was well attended. Twelve members in addition to the officers crowded the big Hall built for 800 people. The meeting was going well. The secretary read and the - meeting disposed of the letters that have arrived during the month. There was one more letter, from Lodge 666. Yep, it was about the testimonial banquet. “Well, well — said one of the members — so they are having a banquet in honor of President Pincher. Well, let me tell you that I was treasurer for thirtyone years in this branch but no one ever thought of honoring me with a banquet. I move that we forget about the whole thing.” “Pincher? — said another — why, that fellow certainly pinched me when he asked for five dollars at the last convention and that was the last I ever «heard of him.” “Pincher? — said the third — wasn’t he running for Supreme President of the S. S. S. eight years ago?” • “Yea — laughed the fourth —• and he got one vote altogether. Must have voted for himself.” “Well, fellow members —• spoke one seriously — we cannot leave this thing unanswered. I move that the secretary write a letter to Branch 666, explaining that because of the great distance we cannot attend.” “How about the ad they request?” — asked the secretary. “I move that you write them that due to the fact that our treasury is extremely low, we regret that we cannot comply with their wishes.” The President of Lodge 333 arose: “Gentlemen, this won’t do. After all we are fraternalists. At least a gesture of kindliness should be coming forth from us.” The members looked at him with mute astonishment. Fraternalism, indeed! It’s all right to speak about it at conventions and to read about it in the Journal, but when it comes to spending money, then it is an entirely different matter. A brief silence followed the president’s reproach. But then, he won his point after all. For the treasurer of. Lodge 333 arose and said: “Fellow-members, don’t be so short-sighted. You forget that next year we are going to celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of our branch. You want people to come to our banquet and you want them to send us contributions, don’t you?” “That’s true ...” — mumbled some, seeing the matter from a new side. “Now I move — said the treasurer — that we buy a five / dollar ad and let us advertise in that ad our anniversary. I firmly believe that if Lodge 666 receives a donation from us now, it will return it next year.” He sat down. A member got on his feet: “I guess the treasurer is right, but I believe a three dollar ad would suffice. After all, Lodge 666 is much larger than our lodge. And if we give them a three dollar ad now, they can easily give us a five dollar ad next year . . .” Three dollars it was! HOME-MADE CAKES! “Look here, ladies — Implored the secretary the women of Lodge 666 who heeded his urgent invitation to the “important meeting” — home-made cakes were advertised and therefore home-made cakes we must serve. We can’t let our President down . . .” “Look here, Mr. Secretary — an angry woman yelled — what did you advertise home-made cakes for without asking us? You should know that we can’t get butter, nor sugar and besides who will MAKE the cakes, eh?” Another woman threw her pocket-book on her chair and cried: “For thirthy-five years I have cooked the meals in this lodge and no one ever thought of honoring ME! And you men should realize that that was work. Sweating there in the hot kitchen for three days and being sick after it for a week! And no (Continued on Page 7)
