Verhovayak Lapja, 1944 (27. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)

1944 / Verhovay Journal

VOL XXVII,

DECEMBER 27, 1944

NEW YEAR S RESOLUTIONS

LESSON IN

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Experience taught us to be a bit skeptical about the general practice of forming New Year’s resolutions. Somehow they manage to fade into oblivion in a day or two, leaving nothing but a certain feeling of self-reproach that results from having to admit that we have mot such a strong character af|er all, for we are unable to sustain the mcod which led us fin forming our New Year’s Resolutions.

Of course, there is a reason for such failure. New Year’s resolutions are the mental children of a hangover and are mostly born in the pains of a head-ache and an upset stomach—the punishment for the excesses indulged in during the preceding night—and as soon as the pains wear off, with the help of some sleep and a few tablets of Alka-Seltzer, • the resolutions wear off, too, and there we are.

There is a school of thought which deplores the habit of forming resolutions insisting that man cannot change his ways and, consequently, if he decides to change himself;' he is in for a big disappointment in himself which is usually the most humiliating kind of disappointment.

There is some truth in this contention. People, as a rule, persist in their habits, and their nature is subject not so much tp change as to development for either better—or worse. The changes one notices in the ways and habits of people during a certain period of time move along the path of their inherent tendencies: they are not changes but developments of fundamental traits that always remain the same. Much is made of sensational changes — called “conversions” in religious life—but the fact that so much is made of them proves that they are the exception rather than the rule.

Man hasn’t changed much since he moved from the cave into the pent-house apartment, he has only refined • his habits ; and learned how to exhibit fine emotions and how to hide his shameful thoughts. If man ,has improved some of his traits, he also has become more or less a hypocrite, a “false pretender to virtue or piety” according to Webster. He has not changed his heart, only its appearances, but in the recesses of his inner being all the human tendencies are left intact that made the cave-man a brute, though at least an honest one.

A better way

That, however, does not mean that human nature cannot possibly improve. Even if human nature develops only along the lines of its own capacities, we must recognize that there is good and bad in every human being.

If in the course of development emphasis falls upon the bad, the development is for the worse,

but if emphasis is placed upon the good then the development is for the better. A decision to change cur nature is due to fail, but a resolution for the development of our actually existing good traits has every chance for success. A kind-hearted person may resolve tó be hard as a nail in the coming year. Disappointments experienced in the past convince many good people that kindness isn’t quite a sound business proposition. But such resolution will fail, for the kindhearted person does not have it in himself to be hard. But he may resolve to control his kindness, to be cautious in exercising and displaying it, and such decision may be realized quite easily, saving him lots of heartache and bitterness.

If you make a New Year’s resolution, try to avoid that which is beyond you: stay in line with your own nature, and your resolution may. not be in vain.

Then there is another thing to be considered. We pointed out that New Year’s resolutions fail because they are born in a hangover. Decisions prompted by a mood have no lasting effect. Let us take stock of ourselves, of what we have been, what we could be and what we ought to be, and let us soberly arrive at conclusions which we will be able to follow in the coming sober days of 1945.

The happiness of being useful

Now let’s see what all this has to do with Verhovay life. Just as the individual may take stock of himself and realize the need for improvement, so may a group or an organization. Verhovayans, as a group, have good and bad in theiji just as every individual. Let us take stock of what we have and what we can be, and then let us soberly arrive at resolutions for which there is an urgent call in our present time. For there can be not doubt about it: a group of 52,000 people has grave social and national responsibilities. If we, as a group, or as many groups, avoid meeting them, the Verhovay will be the loser as well as the nation, but in the last analysis the individual members will have lost the most. If we meet our responsibilities, we will succeed in making our organization one of the pillars of society, an asset to the nation and, thereby, a means of expression for the valuable traits of the membership. There is no greater happiness than being useful and once we have made our association a means whereby we as individuals can be useful to our fellow-men and to our nation, we have achieved a higher level of living which will favorably reflect in our character and in the way we spend our life.

Good and bad

We have ’“good” members and

“bad” members. From the fraternal viewpoint, a bad member is one who has no understanding for the social aspects of fraternal existence. All he wants is insurance, and that is all he gets. On the other hand, ’’good” members are those interested in their association and its members, and in its activities.

It would be a vain effort to change the unsociable people into active fraternalists. Rather, let us make more and better use of the sociable people, giving them a chance to develop their fraternalistic talents by following the leadership of their undeniable qualities. We will never get any place by complaining of the unsociable attitude of those members who just don’t have it in them to be interested in social activities, but we will get far if we set ourselves to develop and make more extensive use of those who were born with fraternalistic qualities.

At the same time let us appreciate the unsociable member for what he is worth. A member who refuses to be active is still better than no member at all. He is a number who makes the association stronger. As a member in good standing he helps the association to build up its assets.

Let us resolve that we won’t attempt to change people but rather appreciate them for what they are. Too much bitterness and too much quarrel result from the attempt to chanjge people trying to make them conform to our cwn standards of thinking and living.

Co-operation vs. bickering

Fraternal leaders have no end of praise for those who are always ready to work with them and complain bitterly about those members who by their constent bickering hamper their ef'

We will never change ' erer. He was bom to . we can appreciate hi good he is, unknowing'.It is surprising how fow notice that it is the bicke, . keeps the idealist within bounds of realities. The fraternal idealist is more often than not like a motor of love and fervor that has no brakes. It is the

bickerer who by his constant nagging and criticizing puts the brakes on him without which even the best leader is apt to overshoot his goal. There is much wisdem and common-sense to be gained by dealing with bickering people: it is excellent training for meeting the exigencies of life with composure and efficiency.

We will never change the bickerer by reproaching him for the nature given to him. But we may soften his aggressivness by giving him a respectful hearing. Once he sees that he has not to fight for a hearing, the wind is taken out of his sails and he becomes quite an agreeable fellow.

Let us resolve to quit whining about the “stab in the back” we received and consider it a good lesson which we possibly needed since we so carelessly exposed our back to his dagger. Oftentimes, the stab in the back is the only thing that keeps us from making a fool of ourselves.

Few work — many don’t

Let’s also quit complaining about the laziness of the masses compared to the great efforts exerted by a few. A lazy person was bom lazy and it will cost us a greater effort to make him work than do the work. What if but a few work? The work is done, isn’t it? In an organization five people can do as good a jobb as fivehundred. Jesus Christ had but 12 disciples and even out of that number one was a traitor, yet he upset the world and gave humanity a new course to follow. All national movements are started out and worked out by a handful of people, yet once the work is done it influences all the people. Humanity never participated “en masse” in its own improvement, it was always led or driven to it by a few who did all the work. We can’t change human nature but we can - make use of it if by understanding it we find the ways and means to awaken the good instincts dormant in the soul of man.

We waste too much mental energy criticizing those who criticize us. We waste too much energy trying to make those work who don’t want to work. In this respect we are like the man who owned a stubborn mule and tried to make the mule pull a little cart which it would have cost him much less effort to pull himself than to make the mule pull it.

There is too much resigning going on due to the lack of coperation and the abundance of

ckering which, somehow, makes he resigning officer guilty of the same sin which he attributes to others: he is tired working because essentially he is lazy, too, and he can’t stand the bickering because he is full of criticism.

Leadership

Leadership is not the ability to drive others, even against their own will, to do things only the leader is interested in. Leadership is the ability to arouse the interest of those led by him and getting their voluntary cooperation Here is the difference between slaves and free people and between a dictatorship and a democracy.

Yes, we should always strive to arouse the masses and awaken their better instincts. We should never cease to woo their cooperation. But it is up to us to achieve this and not to the masses that don’t know any better than they are doing. People won’t move, they are to be moved.

Again, let us take stock of ourselves. What have we done to arouse the interest of the membership? What have ice offered them that could appeal to them? What have ice done to make fraternal life interesting to them? After all, exhortations that they ought to be interested, won’t make them interested. No religion is successful that does not appeal to the imagination .of the people. No political movement can show progress unless it patches the interest of the masses. Do we expect fraternal life to be an exception? Let us not blame the membership because of the lack of interest that we failed to arouse. We can't sell fraternalism unless we make it appealing. No salesman gets away with pleading lack of interest on part of his prospective customers. It is his job to convince them of the desirability of his merchandise.

Once I changed from one milkcompany to another. When I told my milk-man about my decision he reproached me saying: “That is poor judgment!” — Well, that certainly was no way to retain a customer. Yet fraternal leaders expect to gain the cooperation of the members by reproaching them.

A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

All that has been said applies to every circle of human life, be it the family, friendship, church or fraternal life. So let us resolve that we will develop the good qualities which we know exist in us. Let us practice tolerance, understanding, respect, common-sense and patience. Let us not demand these qualities from others but excercise them ourselves. And we shall see the birth of a new spirit of friendliness in our branches. We shall see more and more members getting interested in our branchactivities. We shall see more and more hands extended towards us with the willingness of helping. And we shall have a very happy New Year in the Verhovay. How about it, folks?