Verhovayak Lapja, 1944 (27. évfolyam, 1-52. szám)
1944 / Verhovay Journal
June 8, 1944 Verhovay Journal Wedding Bells in War Time... Page 3 THE PURPLE EART POSTHUMOUS DECORATION AWARDED TO STAFF SERGEANT JAMES F. NAGY, Jr. OF BUFFALO, N. Y. Staff Sergeant James F. Nagy, Jr., late member of Branch 121 of Buffalo, Neiv York, who was the thirty ninth member of our organization to make the supreme sacrifice on March 8. 1944, in Germany, has been posthumously awarded the Purple Heart by Franklin Delano Roosevelt, President of the United States, as reported by the Branch Manager, the Rev. John L. dePapp. O © O It is with deep gratitude and respect to our hero that we present to our readers the text of the citation and award which reads as follows: IN GRATEFUL MEMORY of Staff Sergeant James F. Nagy, Jr. A. S. No. 12209118, who died in the service of his country in the European Area, March 8, 1944. He stands in the unbroken line of patriots who have dared to die that freedom might live, and grow, and increase its blessings. Freedom lives and through it, He lives in a way that humbles the undertakings of most men. (Signed) FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT, President of the United States of America GOG THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA To All Who Shall See These Presents, Greeting: This is to certify that the President of the United States of America, pursuant to authority vested in him by Congress, has awarded the PURPLE HEART Established by General George Washington at New• burgh, N. Y., August 7, 1782 To Staff Sergeant James F. Nagy, Jr. A.S. No. 12209118, For military merit and wounds received in action resulting in his death March 8, 1944. (Signed) HENRY L. STIMSON, The law of supply and demand applies to every value of human existence. Thus, it applies to the relationship of boys and girls, also. With ten million boys in the armed forces, the supply of marriageable young men has decreased substantially. More than substantially, because those left are either too old or too young and if they are of the right age, then they belong to the very much to be pitied class of young men who have been branded with the unforgivable classification of 4-F. (This is written by a 4-F!) Usually, young men between the ages of 18 and 38 are looked upon suspiciously by the young female of our time who seems to prefer a fellow in uniform away from home to a man in civilian clothes right here. I do not really understand why it is that some women seem to think that a man who is not fit to be a soldier is not fit to marry, either. Does marriage require military qualities? Is it really true that, because all is fair in love and war, the same soldierly qualities are needed in love as in war? Be it as it may, the truth is that there are ten women clustered around one man in uniform while the 4-F civilians in their early twenties spend their off evenings in the sad contemplation of utter desolation. However, even if it would be different, there are not enough 4-F-ers to go around so that still leaves some ten million marriageable girls without a prospect of marriage within that time during which she is able to display th se alluring qualities with which the Creator has endowed the young woman for the short period of her life in which she is supposed to catch the 'breadwinner for her old age. It is for this reason and many others that when our good-looking young soldier (and which young soldier is not good-looking? ) asks, begs and implores the little girl to marry him that she consents and wedding bells ring for an eight day honeymoon which will be followed by many months, perhaps many years, of loneliness for both the husband and wife. Much has been said pro and con of war marriages. It is undeniably true that a soldier who takes this step may have his last chance of ever being happy. Every soldier feels that way about it and it is for that reason that the soldier is more apt to ask a girl to marry him than he would if he were a civilian. Because the truth of the matter is that in a great many instances, the soldier himself believes that he may not come back and that he may not have to live through his civilian life with the girl he married as a soldier. He may not have married her as a civilian but he wanted to marry her as a departing soldier; perhaps she is a girl with whom to have fun or because the warmth of her nature awakened in him the yearning for belonging to someone. This much for the soldier’s part. There is much to be said in favor of the girls, too, who get married in this way. In the greatest number of instances they are led by sympathy, pure and simple. They realize that the soldier’s heart is filled to the brim with the desire to love and be loved because of the constant menaee of death which will hang over him throughout his military service. Many a girl would not marry the soldier if he were a civilian or at least she would postpone the wedding for many months, perhaps years, umii finds out about her own heart. But due to the pressing circumstances, she drops caution, she forgets about her uncertainty and surrenders in order to support a soldier in his great struggle. Of course, there are thousands and thousands of pases where the government insurance has a whole lot to do with the ringing of wedding bells in war time. But let’s forget about that now and concentrate on those cases where marriage results from those emotions described above. What are the prospects for that marriage? On the average, the prospects are as bad as they can be. They are bad for the soldier, they are bad for his wife. It is a pretty difficult proposition to leave an awakened woman to the loneliness of many months and years. And it is a pretty difficiult proposition, too, to expect that the young man remain faithful to his wife for a period of years when he never sees her. She can’t possibly sit at home all the time knitting socks and waiting for hubby to return and he can’t possibly live on the memory of a few happy days and the uncertain hope of happy years to come. The temptations are present to both parties involved. They are present for the soldier who, as that certain famous case in England proved, can get in pretty difficult situations resulting on occasions, even in quadruplets. The temptation is present for the woman at home and it is pretty easy to blame her without doing anything to understand the great emotional dfificulty under which she has to live. Perhaps the most difficult aspect of the entire question is the fact that neither the man nor the woman will be what they expect cne another to be, after the war. The soldiqjj will be changed and so will his bride. Years of loneliness, of repressing desires, of anxiety and fear, of constant uncertainty, leave their indelible marks on the entire emotional and mental set-up of the woman. Quite easily, the girl who used to be fun will be a serious adult woman, who will have no sense for fun left, to the great disappointment of the returning soldier. And if she spends her time of loneliness without repressing her desires, trying to forget her fears and anxieties, then she will become detached from her emotions and by the time he returns, he will be an utter stranger to her; much more so because he will be changed, too, anyhow. Many a gentle boy will develop into a cruel, impatient, bossy person who has been hardened by the terrors of warfare and by the bloody experiences which have transformed his personality. Others who had strong manly qualities may come home sick, dependent, broken in spirit, to whom a woman will not be able to look up to but with whom she will remain only if she has all the qualities of a mothering love Not speaking about the millions of cases where the man will come home as a cripple. It is easy to say that “I will love him no matter how he looks when he comes back” but it is a different proposition to make it true during a lifetime together A few \ days or months of happy wedded life cannot tie the two people so closely together that such changes would not affect their emotions. We may say that it will not be more than one per cent of the cases when neither the man nor the woman will change and that they will be satisfied with finding one another without- having changed. We have to take it for granted that the war will . be followed by millions of divorces which will not be the result of loose morality, not even the result of the undependability of married people. It will be the result of war time weddings or, if you care to go deeper, then we must see that it will be the result of the urgent desire for happiness on the soldier’s part and the pity and sympathy of the woman that have been material in the effecting of that marriage. Noble sentiments they are, yet they will not bring noble results. Marriage cannot be based on nobility. Marriage can only be based on the fullness of love, mutual trust* constant togetherness, unbroken belonging, all things which can not be realized in most cases of war time weddings. It is for this reason that it would be well for our soldiers if they could add to their heroism, the additional act of heroism denying their own desire at a time when marriage would have to start with parting. And for the girls? Stefan Zweig has a great novel entitled ‘‘Beware of Pity.” It is the most treacherous of all human emotions. It can be a trap in which lives are broken permanently. Pity at the right time is the most noble of human sentiments but pity applied at the wrong time contributes more than anything else to the deterioration of human values. Beware of pity! If it is an old love, a tested and true Relationship, then it is different. Marriage in such cases has its justification although even then the prognosis is not much more favorable. But a marriage contracted under war time tension in the excitement of a dizzy furlough will result, in most cases, in a tragedy; in a private war after the Great War. Now why do we write about all this in a fraternal Journal? Because war time weddings are a fraternal problem. Our young men desire their happiness, our young women are willing to give it to them and yet, at the same time, hard as it is, it would be more beneficial for all parties concerned if restraint could be exercised at a time when restraint is most difficult. Lodge activities can help a great deal. If the soldier on furlough is surrounded by affectionate riends, if he feels all the warmth, ympathy, love and understanding of the young people in his age, then he may not suffer so keenly from the desire for the full measure of happiness as he does when he does not find adequate companionship whenever he returns home. The same goes for he young women whose desire to belong to someone gets the better of them because almost $rery human being at one time or another, suffers keenly from loneliness, from the feeling of not belonging really anywhere. A fully developed, true and warm branch life can help much to ubstitute those things that, due to the war, are missing from the life of our young people. Nothing is more important today in fraternal life than the full develop(Signed) Adjutant General. G ment of real companionship, constant companionship, the feeling of belonging to a certain group of people where one has his friends who share with him all the joys and sorrows of life. Wherever a branch lives up to Secretary of War. G G its possibilities, there futura tragedies are averted or at least greatly reduced in number. Let’s give our young people a break in order that they do not break themselves on the ir reducible hard facts of life. It is only for extraordinary heroism that a posthumous award is made by the head of our nation. We do not know the exact circumstances of our hero’s death except the fact that he died from wounds received in ferocious aerial action above Germany; but the fact that he has received this presidential aivard reflects the circumstances of his death. The reports that have been made up concerning the action in which he met his death must have been such as to call the attention of the President to the extraordinary heroism of this Verhovay soldier. We (Continued on Page 5)
