Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. július-december (24. évfolyam, 27-52. szám)

1941-07-10 / 28. szám

July 10, 1941

Page 9

“regular contributor,” for that he is not. Rather, his contributions are spasmodic, not because of choice but through necessity. Therefore, all the views expressed herein are to be taken as those reflecting the opinions of an impartial observer, one who is intensely interested in the progress of the Journal and one who has followed its progress for many,'many years.

In the cold ligth of analysis I find that there is a predominant lack of branch news and branch activities appearing in the Journal. Perhaps this lack of news can be attributed to the absence of branch functions; or it may be that the branch has lost its characteristics of a fraterpal institution, dispensing with meetings, and has assumed the likeness of a cold, impartial, business institution with no contact with its members. Under these circumstances it would be difficult indeed if not impossible—to render articles pertaining to branch activities. I can not bring myself to believe that this condition exists —except in a few isolated cases—and must assume that we contributors are shirking our responsibilities and thus retarding the Journal’s progress.

I have noted with a great deal of satisfaction that many branches, yes, a great many of them, have publicity directors who are really doing a magnificent job of “propagandizing” their branch and their activities. This is what we want. That is what publicity directors are for—to “sell” their branch to the people on the outside so that they too may know what is going on in the Verhovay life outside their own sphere. We all have secret ambitions, and I might even say many of us possess an unconquerable ego which asserts itself now and then so that others may take cognizance of a well-developed and trained mind. What better method is their of radiating these new thoughts, these new ideas, radical as they may be, than through regular contributions to the Journal by new contributors? Our editors are always searching for more new ideas, new' contributors and new contributions on varied subjects so that the Journal can be made still more enjoyable and interesting to YOU.

The editor has received many favorable comments and also criticisms from individuals who are avid readers of the Journal. All of these have contained ideas which indicated clear, logical

thinking on the part of thé writers, and many of these ideas have been basically incorporated into the make-up and composition of the Journal. Other ideas have been temporarily suspended not because they lacked merit but because they involved expenditures which were not deemed justifiable at the present time.

Perhaps our work will not endure for countless centuries, yet how many of you have not felt exultation and pride in observing your articles appearing in the Journal. So too, we, as individual contributors, can be likened to artists, engineers and technicians, who paint and build for posterity’s enjoyment. We contributors have had some measure in shaping the course of the Journal and planning its future course. Over a period of the past few years a great deal of progress has been made, thanks to our able editor and contributors. BUT THIS PROGRESS HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH; it is not rapid enough. WHY? Because we, THE CONTRIBUTORS, have shirked our duties and have -failed to contribute regularly. This is our duty. We owe this to ourselves and to our Verhovay brethren. This is OUR paper. It is part of your job ... my job ... everybody’s job. We can not depend on someone else to do it for us. WE MUST ALL DO IT. It is our duty to contribute regularly all news, whatever its character, that pertains to our branches and their related activities. We have build the foundation of the Journal on solid bedrock and this is no time for us to dilly-dally, but we must all get behind it, and with determination, foresight and planning make sure that the Verhovay Journal will be worthy of a place on the literary shelf of every reader. Vision, planning and courage are the necessary attributes for success in any venture; and above all, “stick-to-it-iveness”; that is the determination to contribute regulari y—news, news and more news—which will insure success and bring the plaudits of our fellow members with the remarks, “a job well done.”

I can assure my fellow writers and readers that if this is done systematically and with regularity, it will have a profound influence upon all, and like the painting of Abb will contribute to our knowledge of our Verhovay family. We will mold words into useful articles; articles which will convey the spirit and fraternal brotherhood of this

THE 376 HERALD

(Prop, and Ed., JOHN “DIRK” FULOP)

Verhovayak Lapja_________________

The 376 Herald, having a goodly supply of wordage on hand, a supply over and above that which usually emanates out of its order of conversation, it proceeds to dispose of said wordage with neatness, order and dispatch, and its usual amount of incoherence.

So therefore, putting one little ‘hunk of vocabulary' after another, we find that such names as ‘Mystricky’ and ‘The Ferret’ well up in our mind. We have faint recollections of the time when their columns were an institution with the Journal. They are back to stay, I hope. ‘Mystricky’ with her system of hieroglyphics that we never were able to translate into United States. We know of only one person who can really read her column and understand it. But that person can also read timetables and knows the words to the ‘Hut Sut Song.’

‘The Ferret’ has said so many nice things about us that we are embarrassed. If only there was some way we could show reciprocity. Of course we could dedicate the remaining portion of this dispatch to her, but then we want to show our gratitude. I can tell by ‘The Ferret’s writing that she’s a she, and anyway A. Jozik told us.

Continuing with our policy of disposing of excess verbiage, we find that thoughts on the Selective Service situation are cluttering up our feeble mind, and so we pass said thoughts on to yöu, said thoughts being mainly about methods of how not to be selected for service, in other words, how to dodge the draft. We are wondering how aforementioned and oft-repeated said

great Verhovay family, and like the painting it will be a job well done and will “look right.”

Thus we shall pick up our tools where they were previously dropped; the tools of the journalist; the intellectual, and put them to use in fabricating words, sentences. paragraphs and chapters which will go forth in never ending streams to the desk of our editor, where they will be assembled, published and sent to the far corners of this country. Let us all get behind this effort and make the succeeding issues of the Journal the biggest and best ever published. I know that we can do it. ARE YOU WITH ME? THIS IS OUR JOB.

thoughts will be received by our subscribers.

First of all, ‘ye olde ed.’ (who isn’t old enough to be above the draft age) does not see why any redblooded American would want to dodge the draft. Its an honor and privilege to serve one’s country, and anyway look how many of your relatives and neighbors (to say nothing of your family) would be glad to see you go.

The Ways and Means Committee of the Hex-aid after days of research, has finally devised ways and means whereby one may dodge the draft if one chooses, if one is chosen. The Committee is too patriotic to approve of these methods and too pessimistic to guarantee results:

Method No. 1 is the easiest, simplest method—to get married. The war will start for you right away and you won’t have to go through months of training. Of course, you can learn to dance first and have her step on your toes (she’ll do it anyway), so that after you’re married you won’t mind being walked all over.

I know a man who on a hot, sunny, sultry day decided to get married to dodge the draft (the heat must have gotten him). He went over to his best girl’s home to pop the well known question. Her ‘pop’ answered the door and he began questioning his sanity. However, he looked past the pop and saw his worst enemy sitting on his best girl’s lap. He was cooling her fevei’ed brow by fanning her with his exemp tion papers.

Method No. 2 is to aggravate Joe Louis or a reasonable facsimile and have him knock out all your teeth. In the Army they don’t accept men without teeth. (How could soldiers without teeth bite the pins out of hand grenades?) We caution you not to overdo this method. A neighbor of ours did (or rather ‘overdid’) this method. He dodged the draft all right, and they gave him a nice funeral besides.

Method No. 3 is to feign insanity, which ought to be easy for some of us. The ways of doing this are multiform and variegated. The secret of this method is not to appear happy after you have been declared insane by the medical examiners and thereby exempted. If you are happy over your exemption then right away they will know that you have been bluffing.

Someone who hit the numbers (for 21 dollars a month) wrote back and told ye ed. all about this new army. He says they get chicken a la king (chicken a la king that has slightly abdicated) every Sunday for dinner. He also said that the sergeant treated him just like a mother. I found out later that they had censored the words ‘in law’ after mother in his letter to me. He says also that everybody there thinks that he used to be a miner because of the slack in his pants. After that he hurries on to tell me that he is going to try and get out of the Army by developing flat feet, that is, as soon as he can get his whole foot into his army shoes. “They’re not small,” he says, “they just gave me a pair to fit my brain instead of my foot.” He said that one morning when he went to put his shoes on his foot start singing to the shoe, “I can’t get started with you” and the one shoe sang to the other, “Let’s get away from it all.” (See what I mean about acting ‘nuts’? This guy even does it in his letters. They’ll probably discharge him for having a slight case of musical imbecility or “delirium tremens in four flats.”) And finally he writes that the Army is putting weight on him, which means that the Army is all right in a way, but who wants to weigh too much. After all, I have my school girl figure to look after, and others too.

I’m not worried much, though, about being drafted. Like the fisherman who catches a small fish and throws it back into the water, the draft board will catch up with me, I’ll be examined and then thi'own back into the sea of humanity. The Army boasts about being able to make a man out of you, but even they need something to start with. Fortunately I “don’t got that something.”

Well, we have finally run out of words and you probably have run out of patience. Anyway, so we will run out and mail this dispatch before the deadline for all contributions runs out. I think after that I will get an outboard motor so I won’t have to run anymore.

In the near future the “Herald” intends to give you its version of the masculine version of “Gadabouts,” with apologies to Betty Carol Ealega. That is, unless we receive a letter telling us that we hold the lucky number and will be given a year’s vacation free, all expense paid and $21.00 a month besides.