Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. január-június (24. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)
1941-01-30 / 5. szám
Page 12 January 30, 1941. Verhovayak Lapja THE HUMOROUS =VEIN= How Many Coats Artist: “I’ll give you five dollars if you’ll let me paint you.” Old Mountaineer (shifting his tobacco from one cheek to the other and back again): “I dunno.” Artist: “It’s easy money.” Old Mountaineer: “There ain’t no question about that. I was just wondering how I’d get the paint off afterwards.” * * * She Knew A distinguished visitor to an insane asylum went to the telephone and found difficulty in getting his connection. Exasperated. he shouted to the operator: “Look here, girl, do you know who I am?” “No,” was the calm reply, “but I know where you are.” * * * Missed Something Pa: “It’s a terrible thing. I sold my car and mortgaged my house and land, all to send my son to the university. And all he does there is smoke, drink, and take girls out to parties.” Pal: “Oh, so you’re regretting it?” Pa: “Certainly. I should have gone myself.” * * * An Expert The American and the Irishman were trying to see which could tell the taller story. Said the American: “Well, I guess this beats everything. I once knew a man in the States who could take a 20-rung ladder into a field, stand it up on end. and then walk up to the top and down again.” “Begorrah, that’s nothin’ at all,” replied Pat, not to be outdone. “Oi know a man in Oireland who can take the same ladder into a field, stand it on end, walk up to the top and then pull it up after him.” * * * What, Dumb? Prof. Titl: “Mr. Gungl, what three words are used most among college students?” Gungl: “I don’t know.” Prof. Titl: “Correct.” * * * Versatile Pork Shopper: “Have you any good pork?” Butcher: “Good pork? I’ve got some pork that will make better chicken salad than any tuna fish you can buy.” * * * Yes, How? The first grade was having a lesson on birds. After some discussion the fact was established that birds eat fruit. One small girl, however, was unconvinced. “But, teacher,” she asked, raising her hand, “how can the birds open the cans?” * ♦ * Gadding Around Farmer’s Boy: “Father, kin I go to the circus tonight with Hiram Comshuck?” Farmer: “No! Tain’t more’n a month sense yer went t’ top o’ the hill to see the ’clipse o’ the moon. ’Pears to me yew wanter be on the go the hull time.” * * * Pun and Fun A husband found some holes in his sock and said: “Wifie, dear, why haven’t you mended these?” “Hubby, darling, did you buy me that coat for Christmas, as you promised?” “N-no.” “Well, if you don’t give a wrap, I don’t give a dam.” Nothing Else But A Texas state liquor agent went out one morning into the woods looking for stills. He was walking along when he came to a Negro making a fire under a still. The liquor agent asked, “Makin’ liquor?” The Negro replied, “Ain’t makin’ water.” The liquor agent then asked. “Gonna sell it?” “Ain’t gonna give it away,” was the reply. The Negro looked up and seeing who was asking all the dumb questions, said, “Lawdee, are you a state liquor agent?” “Ain’t no preacher,” replied the agent. “Gonna take me to jail?” asked the Negro. “Ain’t gonna take you to church,” said the agent, * * * Usual Luck Man: “What’s making you look so angry?” Friend: “Nothing much. I cut myself with a safety razor, burned myself with a safety match, and nearly got rim over while reading a safety first notice.” * * * Get Out! Dear Tom: “Come tomorrow evening sure. Daddy is at home, but is laid up with a very sore foot. See? Mary.” Dear Mary: “I can’t come tomorrow evening. I’m laid up on account of your father’s sore foot. See? Tom.” NEW YORK STYLE LETTER From Anne M. Griffin Peerless Fashion Service 121 West 19th Street New York, N. Y. Bowling is fast becoming one of the favorite sports of smart women. It’s fun, it’s healthy and it’s chic. You’ll enjoy it even more if you dress the part, and wear a frock that affords plenty of freedom of action. Culottes—especially. those ending just above the knee are an ideal solution, and gray flannel divided skirts are as smart as they are practical. * * * Try a jerkin to work wonders with your wardrobe! Slip one on over your classic shirtwaist dress for that sleek-hipped, long-line silhouette—or add a gaily colored jerkin as an accent for your stark white shirt. You can have your choice of almost any neckline— square, V or round—with back, side, or shoulder closing. Suede, felt, angora and corduroy are just a few of the attractive fabrics to which they are adaptable. You’ll wear them for both daytime and evening. One jerkin, of course, can be worn over innumerable frocks, a fact that should be of interest to the budgetminded. Then, too, even a beginner will find a jerkin easy to make. * * * Our good neighbors, the South Americans, are playing a big part in the latest North American fashions. The colorful costume of the glamorous gaucho is a new and important style source. Wonderful Indian colors, bizarre peasant hats and dresses, heavy, intricate native jewelry—all play their part in the fashion news of the day. Certainly they’re refreshingly different, and we predict a big future up here for the South American way. * * * When the party is over, do you find yourself the not too happy possessor of somebody else’s black gloves that don’t fit, while some unspecified guest has meanwhile made off with your own pets? If this problem rings a familiar bell, then you’d better invest in those new glove classics accented with tiny monogram cuff buttons. Besides being very smart, they’re bound to minimize problems of identity, and if you can’t keep them with you until their useful days are past, don’t .blame it on the gloves!--------------O-------------KEEPING THE BALANCE Mass distribution has been of great service to the entire country—and of special service to the smaller community. In the horse and buggy era, our possible radius of daily or weekly travel was extremely limited. Persons living in villages were forced to trade at home, no matter how high prices were in. local stores, or how poor the stocks of goods offered. Journeys of even twenty or thirty miles were lengthy, and made only at rare intervals. Those were the days of’ real retail monopoly—the local “general store” proprietor, if he chose, could deal with his customers on a “like it or lump it” basis and they were virtually helpless. Universal use of the automobile, coupled with the development of good roads, effected a rural revolution. In a half hour or so of driving, it was possible for the average family to reach a sizable community, served by many stores. Competition in these cities had forced prices down and improved service. By buying for a week or two ahead, the cost of the trip was more than offset. And so, little by little, local business began to drift away from the smaller centers to the larger communities. Then mass distribution effected another revolution. The chains established outlets in thousands of small towns. Independent merchants improved their methods, and joined central buying organizations. The result was that prices in the small towns were as low as in the cities—and stocks of goods as wide and as attractively displayed. Local business began staying at home again—not from necessity this time, but because it wanted to. Mass distribution has saved a long list of small communities from economic retrogression. And it is a powerful factor in keeping the proper economic balance between the village and the city.
