Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. január-június (24. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)
1941-06-12 / 24. szám
Page 12 Verhovayak Lapja June 12, 1941 THE: HUMOROUS VEIN: r “John, I bought some sheets, pillow cases and blankets today. Shall I put them down in my budget as cover charge or overhead?” * * * Up to sixteen a lad is a boy scout but after sixteen he becomes a girl scout. * * * I Mr. Brown: “So your son had to leave college on account of poor eyesight?” Mr. White: “Yes, he mistook the dean of women for a co-ed.” * * * Fred—“Mabel’s husband is a judge, isn’t he?” Frank—“Well, everybody thought so until he married Mabel.” * * * Mrs. Hefty—“I’ve had a lot Of trouble in my life, but I’ve always kept my chin up.” Mrs. Catty—“Kept it up, my dear! You’ve doubled it.” * * * “You say you never clash With your wife?” “Never. She goes her way and I go hers.” * * * Mother—“Sally, don’t you know that if you keep on do ing naughty things * your children will be naughty too?” Sally—“Oh, mother, now you’ve given yourself away.” • * * * Bride—“Oh, dear, I made the nicest pie and the cat went and ate it.” Groom—“There, there, dear, don’t cry. I’ll buy you another cat.” * * * “Pappa,” cried little Sally, “the furniture man is here.” “I’ll be there in a minute. Ask him to take a chair.” “I did, but he said he would start with the radio.” * * * Traffic Cop—“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” Motorist—“Be easy on me, officer. This is the first time I haven’t had my wife along to tell me.” * * * Sincere Prayer Teacher—“Now Tommy, suppose a man gave you $100 to keep for him and then died, what would you do? Would you pray for him?” Tommy—“No, sir; but I would pray for another like him.” * * * The Reason Young Donald had told his favorite uncle that his mother was very funny about some things. When the uncle asked why he thought so, Donald said: “Well, when we have mince pie for dinner, she asks me whether I will have some, but when we have spinach, she just gives it to me.” * * * No One Father: “Who broke that chair in the parlor last evening?” Daughter: “It just collapsed, all of a sudden, father, but neither one of us was hurt.” * * * Not Bragging A concert was being held at the village schoolroom, and it came Sandy’s turn to give his bagpipe solo. When the applause had died down a voice from the back shouted: “Give us ‘Annie Laurie,’ Sandy!” “What?” asked Sandy, surprised and flattered, “Again?” * * ♦ His Idea Mrs. Brown (displaying new lampshade): “Isn’t it perfectly lovely? And it cost only $10.” Mr. Brown (desperately): “If you wear that to church tomorrow, you go alone. There’s a limit to everything, including hats.” * * * Poor Judge A certain justice of the peace, who was not overalert, recalled a witness. “My man,” he said sternly, “you may yet find yourself committed for perjury. Only a few minutes ago you told the court that you had only one brother, but your sister has sworn that she has two. Now, out with the truth.” * * * What’s This? Boogy: “I’m a little stiff from bowling.” Woogy: “Where’d you say you were from?” * * * What Names American woman (to an English lady): What a large family you have. English lady: Yes’m, and the funniest thing is that all the names begin with a haitch. There’s Orace, Erbert, Enry, Ugh, Ubert, Arold, Arriet, and Etty—all except the last one, and we had her named Halice. $25.00 COULD HAVE RETURNED $5,000.00 —BUT IT DIDN’T Life must have seemed good to ex-member E. H. M. that morning last month when he jumped in his car and started to work. He had a wife whom he loved very much. His four children, all healthy, were a source of just pride; and in addition, he had a car and a job. Perhaps as he stepped into his car he was thinking about his life insurance. He had had a $4000.00 policy. Too bad he had had to lapse it, he thought, but he just couldn’t spare that $25.00 to make up those two quarterly premiums. That policy would certainly provide for Mary and the kids if he were to die suddenly. But then, he wasn’t s£>ing to die. Not yet anyway. Only 27, healthy and happy, he was going to live. He was going to provide more clothes, more toys, more of the thousand and one material things that make life on this green earth more enjoyable. Yes, indeed, he was going to live! j But was he? Perhaps fate was tapping the line of his thoughts that morning and decided on a bit of mockery! Maybe he was so engrossed in his plans for a rosy future that he failed to see the other car approaching. At any rate, he did fail to see it. A few minutes later they were carrying him off to the hospital. Possibly he was still dreaming his happy thoughts when they called his wife to tell her the sad news. We say “possibly” because we don’t know for sure. But we db know that Mary and those four swell kids are going to have a tough time of it from now on. You see, E. H. M. died in the hospital that morning. His dreams— and their chances of fulfillment—died with him, because not only had his policy (with its double indemnity provision) lapsed, but also he had no other insurance. Yes, life probably seemed good that morning a month ago—but you can’t always tell! And that is why your prospects need life insurance—and need it now! LITTLE JULIUS SNEEZER BY BAKES
