Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. január-június (24. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)
1941-05-29 / 22. szám
Page 12 Verhovayak Lapja May 29, 1941 TjHE: HUMOROUS VEIN: Make Sure The submarine had sunk the steamer, and McTavish and MacPherson had been adrift for two days in an open boat. Finally McTavish got down on his knees and said: “O Lord. I ken I’ve broken maist o’ thy commandments. I’ve been a hard drinker all my days—but, O Lord, if we’re spared this time, I . promise never—” MacPherson: “I widna commit mysel' ovér far. Donald; I think I see land yon.” * + * Boarding House Way A lady had advertised for ■ a girl for general housework and was showing the applicant over the house. She had been very liberal in her promises of privileges—afternoons off, evenings off and so on—and it looked as though the two were about to come to some agreement, when the girl suddenlyasked: “Do you do your own stretchin’?” “Do we do our own what?” asked the puzzled mistress. “Stretchin’,” repeated the new girl. "I don’t understand.” “Stretchin’,” repeated the girl a second time. “Do you put all the food on the table at dinner and stretch for it or do I have to shuffle it 1 around?” ♦ * * He Did “I shall die,” throbbed the suitor, “unless you consent to marry me.” “I’m sorry,” said the maiden kindly but firmly, “but I will not marry you.” So the fellow went out three months and a day, became suddenly ill and died. * * * Best Way Fred and Mildred had been playing one of those old fashioned games with forfeits, and the girl had been ordered, to give the young man IQ kisses: Mildred (pausing for breath: Let’s see, that’s seven, isn’t it? Fred (correcting): Only six. Mildred: Seven, I think. Fred (persisting): No, six. Mildred: Seven! Fred (wearily): Now look here, sooner than have an argument, we had better start all over again. ♦ * * Both Would A man who dived from a Seaside pier and rescued an Income Tax collector prefers to remain anonymous. So does the man who pushed the Income Tax collector in. * * * Her Method Mr. Newlywed: “Do you mean to say there is only one course for dinner tonight? Just cheese?” Mrs. Newlywed: “Yes, dear. When the chops caught fire and fell in the dessert I had to use the soup to put it out.” * * * Easy Way A man went around to see one of his pals. His friend’s wife answered the door. “Where’s Joe?” he asked. “He’s upstairs,” she said. “Won’t you go up?” “Thank you,” he said, and went up. Upstairs he found Joe busily at work. “What are you doing, Joe?” he asked. “Shellacking the living room table.” “But what did you bring that enormous table up here for?” “Because,” said Joe, “the shellac was up here!” * * * Nice Customer Indignant Customer — “Really, Mr. Gubbins, you get dearer and dearer every day!” Grocer — “Not so loud, Mum. My wife’s powerful jealous.” * * * Guessing Mr. Perkins: That new fellow on the third floor boasts that he has kissed every woman in this apartment house except one. Mrs. Perkins: I’ll bet that’s that stuck-up Mrs. Murphy upstairs. * * * No Light The old signalman was the most important witness at an action for damages— a man had been knocked down at a level crossing. At the cross examination he had persisted that he waved the lantern frantically, but in vain: Superintendent (afterwards) : Bill, you were excellent. I was afraid you might break down. Bill (proudly): No fear, but I was a little nervous, I thought that lawyer was going to ask me if the lantern was lighted. * * * Easy Going A judge was pointing out that a witness is not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he alters a statement made previously. “For instance,” he said, “when I entered this court today I could have sworn I had my watch in my pocket. But then I remembered I had left it in the bathroom at home.” When the judge got home that night his wife said: “Why all this bother about your watch—sending four or five men for it?” “Good heavens,” said the judge, “what did you do?” “I gave it to the first one 1 who came; he knew just where it was.” Calendar of Verhovay Socials MAY 31ST, SATURDAY. — Coraopolis, Pennsylvania. — Dance to be held at the Hungarian Home by Branch 352. JUNE 7TH, SATURDAY. — Cleveland. Ohio. — Card party, with program and gifts, to be held at the Verhovay Home by the Women’s Auxiliary of Branch 14. JUNE 10TH, TUESDAY. - Youngstown, Ohio. — Wiener roast to be held at Rendes farm by Branch 364. JUNE 21 ST, SATURDAY. — Johnstown, Pennsylvania. — Verhovay Day. with speeches, dancing, beginning at 3:00 p. m., to the music of Alexander Bogár and Gustavus Horvath, etc., to be held at Billow Park by Branch 8. JUNE 22ND, SUNDAY. — Chica-; go, Illinois. — 55th Anniversary Verhovay Day at Frank's Grove. JUNE 22ND, SUNDAY. — Cleveland, Ohio. — Summer picnic of Branch 45, at Walters Grove. JULY 4TH, FRIDAY. — New York, New York. — 55th Anniversary Verhovay Day at Kane's Park. JULY 6TH, SUNDAY. — Bedford, Ohio. — Annual picnic, with games, sports, music by the Primrose Orchestra, to be held at Kalo’s farms, Forbes Road, by branch 366 (Cleveland, Ohio). JULY 6TH, SUNDAY. — Chicago, Illinois. — Joint picnic to be held at Silver Leaf Grove, 6839 Milwaukee Avenue, by Branches 164 and 342. AUGUST 17TH, SUNDAY. — Cleveland, Ohio. — 55th Anniversary Verhovay Day at Puritan Springs Park. AUGUST 24TH, SUNDAY. — Detroit,' Michigan. — 55th Anniversary Verhovay Day at Molnár farm-BRANCH 364 Youngstown, Ohio MEETING Our next regular meeting will be held Tuesday, June 10, 1941, 8:00 P. M., at St. Stephen’s Home, Wilson Avenue. ENTERTAINMENT After the meeting there will be a wiener roast, held at the Rendes farm. All members are invited and may bring their friends. The admission will be 25c per person, which includes food and refreshments. Mr. and Mrs. Rendes have a surprise in store for all members who attend. So please come to find out what this surprise is. SPORTS AU girls of Branches 21, 108, 364 and 514, wishing to participate in the summer sport of tennis, please attend the next meeting to see what we can do to make this program a reel success. ATTENTION, BASEBALL PLAYERS: The jackets have arrived, and they surely are attractive. Please attend the meeting so that your fellow members may enjoy seeing you receive these jackets, and, of course, we should like to initiate you ball players, zvho played such grand games last year. CONVALESCENCE Mrs. Frank Brogley is home from the hospital and is doing fine. We all wish Mrs. Brogley a speedy recovery and lots of good health for the future. We hope to see you at the wiener roast. OBITUARY We, the members of Branch 364, join in expressing our heartfelt sympathy for the loss of our dear Supreme Treasurer, Michael J. Varga, who was laid to rest on May 1, 1941. We extend our sympathy to our branch treasurer, Mrs. Julia Miglets. who lost her father, John Danko, on April 30, 1941. MAY THEY REST IN PEACE! Fraternally, MRS. JOHN BARKÓ, Secretary.--------------O-------------An adapter has been invented that enables a regular radio set to be tuned for frequency modulation broadcasts. A transparent pill box has been invented that releases one pill or a tablet at a time when a slide is pulled and shows how many remain in the box.
