Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. január-június (24. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)
1941-05-08 / 19. szám
Page 16 Verhovayák Lapja May 8, 1941 THE HUMOROUS =VEIN= Advice “How did you lose your job at the dress shop, my dear?” “Just because of something I said. After I had tried twenty dresses on a woman, she said, ‘I think I’d look nicer in something flowing,’ and so I asked her why she didn’t go jump in the river.” Complications Sweet Thing-—Aren’t you feeling well, Cuthbert? Cuthbert—No. I ate some German potato salad with French dressing for supper without remembering that they were at war. Now my tummy feels like- it is being bombarded on the “western front.” Expressive A visiting pastor was enjoying a round of golf with his host when a great calamity befell him. Taking a mighty swing he missed the little white object completely. “Oh, Muscle Shoals,” exclaimed the dominie. Mystified, his companion asked explanation of the exoression. “I mean the biggest dam on earth,” replied the minister. Ashamed Helen: “I feel ashamed every time I see the family wash out in the yard.” Irma: “No wonder! Why don’t they go inside?” Hard Training John: “Mother, is it true thdt over- in Holland they wear slippers made of wood?” Mother: “Yes, dear, slippers or shoes.” John: “Gee, I bet those Tutch kids behave themselves.” Eye Catcher Mrs. Brown took her husband to a mannequin parade. An evening gown worn by an extremely pretty model attracted her attention. “That would look nice at our party next Saturday,” she said, hoping her husband would buy it for her. “Yes,” agreed Mr. Brown. “Why not invite her?” Tactily Johnny, an applicant for a job as offfice boy, had to take an examination. He- got along all right until he came to the question: “How far is it from the earth to the sun?” After considerable thought, he wrote: “I can’t recall exactly, but I don’t- think the sun is close enough to interfere with my duties as office boy.” P. S.—He got the job. Candor A couple of sailors got into a discussion over the kind of animal a heifer was. One sailor claimed that the heifer belonged to the hog family, the other that it was a variety of sheep. Finally they called in Boatswain Bill. “Bill, wot’s a heifer—is it a hog or is it a sheep?” they said. Boatswain Bill bit off a large chew reflectively. Then he said: “To tell the truth, mates, I dunno much about poultry.” Parable of the ’isms SOCIALISM: If you have two cows you give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM: If you have two cows, give them to the government and it gives you some milk. FASCISM: If you have two cows, keep them and give the milk to the government who then sells you some milk. NEW DEALISM: If you have two cows, shoot one and milk the other, then throw the milk down the drain. NAZISM: If you have two cows, the government keeps the cows and shoots you. CAPITALISM: If you have two cows, sell one and buy a bull. * LITTLE JULIUS SNEEZER - - - by baked WELL IF THATS THE CASE, YOU HAD BETTER WAIT UNTl l_ YOUR. FATHER COMES HOMELAND HE’LL TELL US Both oNfejf—Tgpfj TO TELL ME A FftlRV-TALt BEFORE I GO WELL* WHY DONT YOU SAY SOMETHING? GEE WHIZ-1 NEVER GET A CHANCE! WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT? ___- ■ . ■ -i. I YOUNG- AVW, you SHOULD 1 BE JN BED AT THIS TIME a—» i—, of Nio-HT' r— / / 1 1----i--X7 -----J I WANT YOU 1 HEROES OF SPORT By BILL ERWIN *fÁt<e -me sad cases of Oust a few OF HUNDREDS OF FIGHTERS TH AT HAWE BECDME‘PUNCH DRUNK* FROM SLOWS TO THE CRANIUM— Willie JacksoH; an EXCELLENT LIGHTWEIGHT BOXER, WHO ONCE FOUGHT 6EHHV LEONARD IN ATITLE BOUT-WILUB GOT IT SO BAD HE HAD TO QUYT TH£ RING. TODAY HE SELLS PENCILS ON street corners for a uvingv ©AVE R0SENBLO0M A FINE WELTERWEIGHT/ ANOTHER VICTIM VJHO TODAY IS SOUOTING HIS BUSINESS FRIENDS TO BUY PAPER AND TWINE FROM HIM- FIGHTING IS ONLY RATE A HORRIBLE EXAMPLE OF THE BACKWASH OF DROOUN& WARD OF A SANITARIUM AND THE FIGHT GAME... A CONDITI ON TH AT BOXERS poR ALL ** KNOW HH STILL BATTLES GET into — OF TIMES permanent, FROM BEING A PHANTOM OPPONENT WHENEVER HE PUMMELED AROUND THE HEAT? TOO MUCH'. HEARS A BELL RING........ VV SEEMS THAT THE ONLY ONES WHO REALLY benefit, inthe long run fromtvs macabre BUSINESS ARE 7 HE PARASIT I CAL MANAGERS VMO CONSTANTLY REMIND THBIíOBoYS* •"THEY CAWT HO\T US/'
