Verhovayak Lapja, 1941. január-június (24. évfolyam, 1-26. szám)
1941-03-27 / 13. szám
Page 12 Verhovayak Lapja March 27, 1941 THE HUMOROUS =VEIN= His Method Mr. Smith: “Your wife used to be so nervous, now she doesn’t seem to show a sign of it. What did you do for her?” Mr. Brown: “That was easy, the doctor simply told her nervousness was a sign oi age.” * * * Escape “Has your husband any hobbies?” asked the neighbor who was calling. “No,” said Mrs. Newritch, “he has rheumatiz a good deal, the hives now and then, but he ain’t, never had no hobbies. * * * Her Idea Jenkins took his sweetheart to see an important football match. The girl was a film fan and, not being interested in football, was soon bored by the game. As the teams came out for the second half she nudged her companion. “Come, let’s go out now,” she said. “This is where we came in.” * * * He Knew Little Tommy had spent his first day at school. Mother was anxious to know how he had got on. “What did you learn, dear?” she asked.' “Didn’t learn nothin’,” came the discouraging reply, “Well, then, what did you do?” mother persisted. “Didn't do nothin’. A woman wanted to know how to spell ‘dog,’ and I told her. That/s all.” Last Chance “Edith, ’ he whispered, “will you marry me?” “I don’t know, Tom,” she replied coyly. ell, when you find out,” he said rising, “send me word will you? I shall be at Eva Gordon’s until ten o’clock. If I don’t hear from you by then I’m going to ask her.” * * * Following Instructions Installment Collector: “See here, you're seven payments behind on your piano.” Kenny. “Well, the company advertises ‘Pay as You Play’.” “What's that got to do with it ” “I play very poorly.” Important Date Parson: “You love to go to Sunday school, don’t you Robert?” Bobby: “Yes, sir.” Parson: “What do you expect to learn today?” Bobby: “The date of the picnic.” * * * A FILIBUSTER Rastus: “Sambo, how come vo’ ail dresses up these days? Yo’ must hab a job. ’ Sambo: “Big boy, I’se got somethin’ better’n any job. I’se got a profeshun. I’m a orator!” Rastus: “What’s dat?” Sambo: “Man, don’t yo’ know what a orator is? Let me explain: Ef yo’ was to walk up to a ordinary man an’ ax him how much was two and two, he’s say ‘fo’r.’ But ef yo’ was to ax one of us orators dat question, we’d say: When in de cou’se ob human events it becomes necessary to take de numeral ob de second denomination and add it to de figger two, 1 says unto yo’, an’ I says it without fear of successful contradi’tion, dat the result invar'ably am ‘fo’r.’ Dat, my friend, am a orator.” * * * A Good Risk A smart young man walked into an insurance office and asked the office boy. “Can your company insure my soul?” “I don’t know,” replied the boy, “but if you will take a seat, I will ask the manager of the fire insurance department.” LITTLE JULIUS SNEEZER 9 BY BA&EK WHEM WOO St EM MV WIPE TO-WW, WHY DID'NT YOÜ HELP HER- ACROSS THE T SHE MlGjtr OF (SAVE VúíMWtCKEL!GEE I M6VER-* THOUGHT OFTHATf DIP ’SHE’ anything to woo S WELL,SHÉ ASKED ME IF I COULD SEE HER ACROSS THE STREET« GEE WHIZ-M COULD SEE HER FOR A —I MILE I r HEROES OF SPORT By BILL ERWIN ggs||gii CLEVE BROWN-COUSHATTA,LA.,CAUSHT AM ALLIGATOR. GAR WITH HIS BARE HANDS/ HE DIVED UNDERWATER AND CAUGHT IT IN HIS ARMS/ THE FISH WAS 9 FEET LONG AND CAPABLE OF BITING A. MAN IN TWO// ROSSE! 3/ AS THE BELL RANG, ACROSS THE RINGAND CAUGHT ROSSER AS HE STEPPED FORWARD KNOCKING HIM OUT WITH ONE PUNCH--------Ben (Seller, picked a winners < of *7 races-mowS’ he picked thi WINNER OF THE FIRST 6 RACES IN THE Tiy RACE WHICH WAS A E HEAT HE HAD BOTH HORSES.WIPAID FIRST MONEV-LAUREL,MD, ________________ OCT-18,11
