Verhovayak Lapja, 1940. július-december (23. évfolyam, 27-52. szám)
1940-11-14 / 46. szám
Page 8 November 14, 1940 Vcrhovayak Lapja-••••• THE HUMOROUS =VEIN= Make Him Speak A Chinaman was worried by a vicious-looking dog, which barked at him in an angry manner. “Don’t be afraid of him,” said the owner. “You know the old proverb. ‘A barking dog never bites.’ ” “Yes,” said the Chinaman. “You know ploverb and me know ploverb, but does dog know ploverb?” —Ind. Forester. A False Alarm For four consecutive nights the hotel manager in a small town watched a woman fill her pitcher at the water cooler. On the fifth night he said to her: “Madam, if you would ring, that would be done for you.” “But where is the bell ” asked the woman. “The bell is beside your bed,” replied the manager. “Is that the bell?” she exclaimed. “Why, the boy told me it was the fire alarm, and that I was not to touch it except in case of fire!” A small boy, sitting next to a very haughty lady in a tram car, kept sniffling. “Boy, haven’t you a handkerchief?” she asked severely. The boy regarded her silently for a moment and replied: “Yes, I have, but I don’t lend it to strangers.” Could Be Worse “Johnny, I am rather shocked. I have had a note from your school teacher in which she tells me that you are last in a class of 30 boys and girls. What have you to say about that?” “Well, dad, I’m sorry, but it might have been worse.” “How could it have been worse?” “It might have been a larger class!” “Dear Miss,” wrote a particular mother to the teacher. “Don’t whip our Tommy. He isn’t used to it. We never hit him at home except in self-defense.” Crispy and Crunchy “What is a tactful way for a girl’s father to let her boy friend know that it is high time to leave?” “He may casually pass through the room with a box of breakfast food.” “Did you get the prize in school for good conduct, Tommy?” asked his uncle. “Naw,” said Tommy, “but I mauled de stuffin’s out of de duffer what did get it.” The school contest was over, and little Tommy returned home smiling brightly“Well, Tommy,” said his mother, “did you get a prize?” “No, ma, but I got horrible mention,” said Tommy, beaming with pride. Men ar peculiar, just as woman have long suspected. For instance, a man, who hadn’t kissed his wife in five years, recently shot a man who did.—SoCaSan Piper. Misleading Title Customer: “Have you a book called ‘Man, the Master of Women’?” Salesgirl: “The fiction department is on the other side, sir.” Frost: “Where do the jellyfish get their jelly?” Prost: “From the ocean currents, I guess.” LITTLE JULIUS SNEEZER STARS ON PARADE By TONI ROSSETT LEWIS STONE (WAS AN OFFICER. INTWE ' SPANISH-AMERICAN AND WORLD WARS,INSTRUCTED t AT PLATTS&URG,AND HOLDSf A MAJORS COMMISSION IN -THEOFFICERS RESERVE«. CONSTANCE BINNETI WORE A COSTUME IN CELLINI" THAT WEIGHED THIRTY POUNDS.SHE LOST AS MUCH AS THREE POUNDS A DAY. DURING THE FILMING OF THAT PRODUCTION! . WAS EXPELLED FROM HIS M SCHOOL BECAUSE HE HIT THE PRINCIPAL OVER THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR1
