Fraternity-Testvériség, 2011 (89. évfolyam, 1. szám)
2011-01-01 / 1. szám
Spring 2011 A Typical Hungarian Civil Wedding Ceremony Petra Fehérvári Petra Fehérvári and James Ferrebee H ungarian weddings begin with a civil ceremony, and mine that occurred on June 12, 2008 was considered typical by Hungarian standards. On the whole, Hungarian civil ceremonies are more formal than in the U.S. with prescribed protocol, and they are usually followed by the wedding ceremony in the church. Fortunately, my husband and I were married in Budapest, my hometown that is a wonderful, beautiful city in which to get married because of the architecture, the gorgeous parks, and the wide streets. I was lucky that all my family and friends could attend this most memorable event of my life. Arrangements have to be made both for the civil ceremony and for the church wedding well ahead of time. For three months before the date, I was busy with preparations. Our civil ceremony, which was held a few hours before the church wedding took place at the Central Registrar’s Office near the Oktogon Metro stop, a very busy part of the city. The female magistrate was very helpful and I met her several times before the actual date. She helped me file papers, which was particularly difficult considering that my husband is American and I am Hungarian. We had to mail documents to each other and have them translated; papers such as birth certificates, baptismal certificates, etc. After filing all the necessary paperwork, I could start to plan for the music, the flowers, the food that was to be served, the champagne, my dress, and other details. Each registrar’s office has its own ceremony personnel, and fortunately, in our case, we were assigned a very accomplished young man who walked me through the whole event and paid the utmost attention to detail. The cost of this ceremony was about $250, and we also paid a photographer friend $400 to record the entire day’s festivities. We chose a Paul McCartney song that was a favorite of ours called “This Never Happened Before” to be the selection that we would enter the office to, and, upon exiting, “Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1” was played. The guests, family, friends and my husband-to-be, James, gathered in the room a few minutes before the ceremony started. I entered last so that James would not see me before the wedding. My dress was a very simple long, white gown, which I found in a small store in Budapest and a white shawl to cover my shoulders in the church. I did not wear a veil. My best friend, Bori, whom I have known for about 25 years since the beginning of elementary school, was my witness. James’ witness was his brother, Sam, who, along with his wife, Jen, his parents, uncle and aunt had flown to Budapest from America for the wedding. The ceremony was short but memorable. When we walked in, three candles were on the table and two were lit. The magistrate talked about us and this very special occasion. She then read a poem and asked us if we took one another to be our lawfully wedded spouses. After we said, “Yes,” we exchanged rings that the magistrate held before us, kissed each other and signed the registry book along with our witnesses. Then we picked up the two lit candles and held them to the third one to light it to signify our unity and we then blew out our individual candles. It symbolized our new life together. To thank our parents for everything they had done for us, we greeted them and gave our mothers and my grandmother a bouquet of flowers. At the end of the ceremony, we enjoyed a glass of champagne with our parents, grandparents, witnesses and the magistrate. Once the civil ceremony had ended, we took photos in front of the registrar’s office, and before the church ceremony, we went to a scenic park to take more pictures that will remind us of this special day throughout our lives. Thus, it is apparent that civil ceremonies are filled with joy, protocol and tradition so that in some cases, couples dispense with the church service all together. Fortunately, we were blessed with both civil and church ceremonies that made that day so special to us both and allowed us to gather together our loved ones to witness our love and commitment to one another forever. 12
