Mészáros Tibor (szerk.): Once I lived, I, Sándor Márai. Patterns from a globetrotting Hungarian's life (Budapest, 2004)
Once I lived, I, Sándor Márai
Several historical works would appear over the next few years. First, in 1970, came Judgment in Canudos. and in 1971, his new novel Something Happened in Rome. This latter describes the events of the hours following Julius Caesar's death. He reveals the psychology of the transfer of power - those who yesterday praised the ruler today write revelations about the crimes of the recent past. A Memoir of Hungary (1972) was openly planned as a sequel to Confessions of a Bourgeois. He looks back to the period 1944-48, and an ever more worthless, ever more inhumane world emerges on the pages of this book. There is no way to bring back the world of the past: the German occupation is followed by Soviet dictatorship in Hungary. "This was the time when I understood that l had to leave the country - not just because they did not allow me to write, but because, more importantly, they did not allow me to be silent," he writes in the book. This is why he had decided twenty-four years before to leave his homeland. He and his wife celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary in 1973. "We last visited Vienna thirty-five years ago, just before the Anschluss...L. recognizes the house where they raised her in an institute," he notes in his diary. One year later he spent a lengthy period in public hospital in Bern. He writes in his diary, "in the moment of awakening: disappointment. What is it7 It's already over? Is everything starting again?...What a shame, it was getting good." His novel Bracer appeared in 1975. This once again addressed a historical theme - the fate of Giordano Bruno, setting him in the context of his period. The inquisition provides him with a way to talk about the inner logic of disunity and punishment. "Man is a contrary beast, and if he will not welcome you, then he must be forced to," he writes in the novel. He once again visited the United States in the same year. His fourth diary (1968-75) appeared in 1976. This is a darker volume, and though he went once again to Vienna, he was unable to rid himself of despair, disillusionment, of merciless judgemental- ism. He lacked values, he saw a world around him in the throes of destruction. "One hundred years ago Nietzsche announced his demand for the Overman. If he lived today, he would despairingly, raspingly demand the Man- sized Man." On 6 May 1980 they once again moved to the United States, this time for good. They moved to San Diego. The writer said a final farewell to Italy and Europe as well. "Farewell to Salerno. Following local custom, everybody parted with a kiss... But it wasn't easy to leave the beautiful, sad but elegant city. It is one of the last havens of humaneness," he wrote in his diary for the period 1976-83. Why did they move again? Perhaps in order to be near the son they had raised. In San Diego, furthermore, the weather was similar to that in Salerno and the views were wonderful, the air was clean. 19
