Magyar Egyház, 1974 (53. évfolyam, 1-12. szám)
1974-08-01 / 8-9. szám
14 MAGYAR EGYHÁZ ping trip to an exciting store or—best of all—to a cup of tea in front of your own fireplace. Expect no more work from her than from any other parish woman. One seriously ill friend with whom I spent several hours, seethed inwardly and suffered acutely because she volunteered to play the piano in church every Sunday, yet when she was absent her substitute received a check. Because this woman was unable to express her true feelings to the church for fear of marring her husband’s ministry, the experience contributed to her general ill health and she reacted with severe distress to a painful parish situation from which she could not free herself. A few pleading don’ts stand out: Don’t criticize her with unkind gossip and hasty judgment. Don’t ask her to take sides in controversial church problems, cornering her with, “What do you think about this?” Don’t give her messages to pass on to her husband, hut go to him directly with church business. Such added responsibility is not hers to carry. Her primary job is to function as the wife of the pastor, and no one else in the church can act in that capacity. She needs the freedom to do it well. Realize she is human and “breakable.” Some of us are endowed with High emotional thresholds; others of us have a much lower tolerance to mental pressures. Whether we are a spirited or a depressive type, has little to do with our morality or spirituality. Our makeup as warm, sensitive people is the very source of our vulnerability, and many of us can easily “go off our rockers” when our “oughts” take precedence over our “needs” and finally become our “can’ts.” Ministers and their wives are human and their occupations may he hazardous to their health! Upgrade her husband’s salary. Today’s average minister is grossly underpaid. This financial squeeze is felt perhaps most keenly by the wife who is constantly aware that every dollar of her husband’s pay must be budgeted with utmost caution. One church in good faith delighted in planning a surprise food party for the new bride. My friend still remembers these many years later the anger and resentment which exploded after the people had gone and the young girl viewed the staples on her pantry shelves. “But if only they had given us the money!” One denominational hoard has recommended the minister be paid commensurate with the local school principal. If this were adopted, the parsonage larder would not have to depend on the generosity of kindly parishioners to keep it stocked! And unless her husband's income is upgraded each year equal to the increase in the cost of living, the church is actually cutting his salary! If you want your minister’s wife to be at her best, and a joyous asset to your church, remember she must have opportunity to “take in” as well as “give out.” Just as a reservoir must be constantly replenished to irrigate the fields below, so must the human spirit be continually recharged. My needs must be satisfied, if I am able to satisfy yours. When I do many things that I want to do, I can do the many things that I should do. The universal medicine for good health is Christian love—massive doses of it. The entire church community can say to a discouraged wife, “God loves you and I love you, too, and I will help you.” When people experience agape, or self-giving love, a positive force emanates from one person to another; all sorts of healing energy is released within the human body and spirit. Has the Christian church been slow in demonstrating agape love within its own family? Just this last week I overheard the statement, “There is at the present time an epidemic of breakdowns among missionaries and their children. They are always giving answers to everybody else, while not getting enough for their own problems.” Ministers’ wives deserve radiant health, and they will respond to the beauty of warm and loving personal relationship. As the apostle wrote to the people in the Philippian church, “It was kind of you to share my trouble . . . you sent me help once and again. Not that 1 seek the gift; but I seek the fruit which increases to your credit” (Phil. 4:14-17). Priscilla Smart MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE EIGHTH TRIBE All readers of the Magyar Church received the first two issues of The Eighth Tribe. The third issue will be sent only to those who subscribed to the magazine. We urge all of you to support the effort of the people whose only aim is to preserve and acquaint our children and grandchildren with our Hungarian Heritage. Please send in your subscription NOW! Let us all line up behind The Eighth Tribe and show our support. — Eighth Tribe, P.0. Box 637, Ligonier, Pa. 15658.
