Hungarian Church Press, 1957 (9. évfolyam, 14-15. szám)

1957-11-30 / 14. szám

HCHP XI,30,1957, Vol. 32/14

lGu- 7 -least purpose of our Transylvanian tour was to draw the Protestant Churches of Transylvania into the worldwide fellowship of the .orId Council of Churches and to secure their attendance at the Galyatető Meeting of the Central Committee* As it is known, this, end - thanks to God - was fully realised, - liy fourth travel took me to Arnoldshain, Germany, where we, on July 7-17, attended a conference which was devoted to one of the main themes of the Central Committee*s Ivleeting: the Church and the Building of a Responsible Intel-national Society.

The burdens and hopes of gill these travels culminated in the Galyatető Meeting of the Central Committee. I spent the last day of this Dieeting in bed with a sprained ankle, but, after a short rest, I started on ny last foreign journey' which took me to the Emden conference of the European Section of the Presbyterian Alliance. As the fathers and brethren know, I was brought home from there on a stretcher.

Why must I tell you all these? It is in the interest of our selfscrutiny that I tell you all these experiences. I am obliged to tell our District how I heaped burdens on myself until I broke down, and how the meroiful judgment of God made me a passive onlooker of all that took place at the end of October, 1956, and particularly after that date in our church. I am fully aware of my own mistake. A word from the Scriptures kq?t coming to ny mind from the first moment I found myself in a hospital in Bremen: "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God".

I remembered those proud and almost boastful references to the power of God, wherea He never lets His strength to be misused by us according to our designs, - no matter how well-meaning we are. Of* course, this wisdom out of time is not much worth.. But it is necessary, even now, after the mistake was made, to say a serious word of repentance over ny own failure to heal in time our church life which had been tormented by inner crises, and no ministration or service of mine made God disposed 'to justify this failure; moreover, after that certain October, he told me clearly you missed your time. Once I spoke very much, in fact, too, much, about the danger that the church might miss her opportunities. God is never late; His dimension is eternity. His earthly church, however, may miss hex- time so badly that her sin of omission can only be visited upon by a serious punisk.ient.

Personally I have accepted this punishment as a chastisement of God which I fully deserved. No one can relieve rne of ny spiritual burdens, only God* 5 graoe which is always new and paverful to renew us. Therefore I was able, during the long period of ny illness, to witness thankfully to the truth of God*s Word, also to the truth of the message: "My grace is sufficient for thee"0 It is while taking hold firmly of this forgiving grace that I shall now try to make further steps on the road of self-sorutiny.

What was the decisive motive of ny actions over the entire period of ny service as bishop, and even previously, at least for the ten preceding years?

I wish I could reply that it was ny desire to seek and obey the will of God, Ala*

I cannot say so. The truth, is that the all-decisive and ruling viewpoint governing ny actions was always determined by ny love toward ny people. I know it is this that God has now judged. Amidst the terrible events of '/orId ’Tar II and also in the completely new forms of life that followed the war, ny main idea was to do everything so as to reduce, ás much as possible, the sufferings which this people, in the wast and inevitable process of transformation in its history, must undergo. I admit that, in many cases, this love to ay people obscured ny vision, as it is certain that we do not always love according to the-heart of God, and it is very often the natural traits of the old man in us that determine our love, (It was of this human love that our Lord said: "Get thee behind me, Satan.,, for